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Very Ugly Fatty

Wednesday, July 03, 2013

For the past week or so, I’ve been wanting to get donuts for the office, so today I decided to. As I walked out with my iconic pink donut box (of which I will NOT be partaking), an older (overweight) hispanic man said to his friend as he sipped his coffee, “Mucho feo gordita.” Most LA natives know a little spanish and if they don’t, they at least know the “bad words”. I’m not fluent, but I know enough to understand what this man meant when I walked by. Immediately, I was in shock, trying to make sure it was me whom he was talking about. There was no one else in the donut shop but me, the clerk, this man and his friend. I glanced at the TV to see if maybe a “very ugly fatty” was showing on the screen, nope, it was a very attractive newswoman.


I’m sure all of us at one point in time were made fun of for being bigger in elementary school, etc but just because it happened all those years ago doesn’t mean that it still doesn’t sting today. It wasn’t that I was “slumming it”, I was dressed for work, looking cute and was feeling good. I was happy because I get to see my BRITT831 tomorrow night, got a good night’s rest and today is pay day. Heck, I was practically skipping like an unicorn.

My first instance was to cry. Cry like a little baby. My self-esteem has been pretty shot lately and I was just stupidly jealous yesterday because someone close to me was being hit on by men a lot more than I ever am. I’m not saying it’s not immature, but it’s how I felt. I felt like crap. I’ve always been the last to be picked at sports and the last to be asked out. I was even last because my last name starts with a W. The nice teachers would always tell me, “The last shall be first Brittney. Don’t you worry!”Today’s event really through me for a loop and I find it hard to find that pep I had in my step. I just can’t believe that after losing 100lbs, going from a size 24-12, 44DD-38D, I STILL seem fat to others. I certainly didn’t lose all of this weight to impress others, this was DEFINITELY for me, but one of the perks was to finally be “normal” and not bring attention to myself unless I wanted it.

Where do I go from here? Well, while one side of me would love to wallow in my self-pity, not track my food, not drink my 3 liters of water and not care anymore I really don’t want to do that. I’d like to do all those things and try to look at myself positively. I’m going to take this day, reflect on what happened and keep on steppin’. I didn’t go through all of this to have one man’s opinion of me stand in my way. I’m better than that, better than him and I will do my absolute best to bring myself out of the funk that wants to tear me down.

This girl saved her life by losing 100lbs.
This girl can now call herself a “gym rat”.
This girl can sing her butt off.
This girl is in the best shape of her life.
This girl can now play the love interest in plays/musicals.
This girl is blessed, thriving and best of all, fierce.

Romans 8: 7 "I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us."
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • CAMAEL100
    He really was a Fat moron! You actually looked fantastic before and even better now!

    When people offend, insult you, don't tale offense, don't take it personally, but do listen to their words. They are telling you how they see the world, and are telling you the exact negative qualities that they possess.

    1714 days ago
    Are you SURE he was talking about you? They could have already been in a convo and were talking about someone else. It's so hard for me to believe it was you b/c CLEARLY you are a beautiful woman and you're not big! So I don't get it! But even it was toward you, screw him! It's his insecurities that would make him talk about ANYONE that way. H sucks, you don't. Period. :) emoticon
    1715 days ago
    First of all, you're gorgeous...inside AND out. I was recently in a similar situation and I know how much it hurts, especially after having made such amazing progress. Despite some hurtful issues in my romantic life and constantly fluctuating self-esteem, I remind myself daily (sometimes hourly!) that the only person I can control is myself. I may not be able to control the actions of others, but I can damn well control my RE-actions! It is so easy to give away our control...it's time for us to take it back...own it, and live the beautiful, fun and healthy lives we are all meant to live.
    1717 days ago
    They couldnt've been talking about you! You are gorgeous!
    1717 days ago
    Once again, u pull urself out of a negative disposition! Im so proud of u, B! U have come such a long way. As all the other Sparkers have said, don't give a second thought as to what he meant or who he was talking to. Whats that saying - haters gonna hate! Hes just jealous that he didn't have the nerve to ask u out which meant he knew he wasn't good enuf for u. Hold ur head up high, B.....us sexy women are ALWAYS gonna have those who show their jealousy by insulting us! The fact that he did so in Spanish just proves how even more of a coward he was. Way to let go and move on! Love u sweetie! See u soon.....

    1717 days ago
    Uh, Excuse Me, He MUST have been talking about someone else, or either he was 'high' or something. There's NO WAY that those words describe YOU!!!! Hon, You look like a "BEAUTY QUEEN!" You are AWESOME for all of your accomplishments. Keep up the GREAT WORK!

    1717 days ago
    I love you girl, and you're awesome and so much more wonderful, than all the things you have listed. You're. A true shining star!
    1717 days ago
    Look at you HOT MAMA!!!
    You know who you are!!!
    Listen to us not those SOB's
    You are worth a million of them!!!
    1717 days ago
    I do not believe for a minute he was talking about you!! NO WAY!! You are beautiful! Size 12 is NOT 'very ugly fatty'!! Maybe he was talking about himself. Hold your head high, beautiful & remember the 'right' man will hit on you at the right time. God knows better than you about time!
    1717 days ago
    You're a stunningly beautiful woman, MISSB. Are you sure this man was talking about you? Is it possible they were having a conversation about women they knew and were discussing one in particular - certainly not you, but someone in their circle of acquaintances? It was a stupid remark regardless, but I can't believe someone would say this about you.

    If, by some chance, he DID, well, who would want HIS approval, anyway? He hardly sounds like a prize, particularly given his disdain for women... I would hold my head high and carry on, because you SURELY don't fit his description! emoticon
    1717 days ago
  • JIBBIE49
    done girls rule.
    1718 days ago
    you look fantastic. the guy who said that to you is the one who is clearly ugly. he proved that from his actions and attitude.
    1718 days ago
    with all the weight you have lost you are not fat or obese.

    You had better stand on your two feet the next time some one says a remark like that and go up to them and look them square in the eyes and demand to know what he is talking about. Confront him or her and confront the situation and don't slink out with wounded feelings. Let them know you will not be spoken about or to that way.

    Now, go and demand and command that respect that you have coming simply because you are a special and unique and gifted and beautiful woman and there is not another person like you on this earth and never will be.

    You go and live life to the fullest knowing how good and awesome you have been made in the image and likeness of Father God and never forget that you are a daughter of the King. emoticon
    1718 days ago
  • SUGAR0814
    O wow! I'm not sure what I would've done. I probably would've flipped him off & switched on out of the donut shop! You're doing an AMAZING job so don't let one stupid head deter you! emoticon
    1718 days ago
    emoticon changes you have made in your life. You must DAILY recount the Grace of God that is Abounding in your life. PRAY for that man and let it go. Don't even bother your thought life with words such as that. You have plenty to be proud of so keep giving God ALL the Praise! YOU are an example of what God can do for us. You ARE Beautiful! Remember that no matter what you hear. Ignorance remain in this world. We walk in LOVE. Be Blessed in EVERY way! You got the VICTORY!
    God Bless You!
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1718 days ago
    Some years ago, I was in the bus with one of my friends. There were 2 men and said to each other something while looking at me. They were from Albania so I didn't understand, but my friend's parents are from there, so she gets a lot of words. They said "fat cow". Yeah, it hurt.

    But then I realized that they would be very lucky to know this "fat cow" because I have a lot to offer than just my image. I could say back "you are a donkey" (in Greece we call donkey whoever is rude) but there was no reason to pay attention to them (or insult the poor animal, it's much better than them!). They are sad for judging other people. I always say that if you don't have something good to say, better say nothing at all.

    You are amazing and you don't need 2 strangers to tell you that. Search your heart, you know it's true!

    emoticon emoticon
    1718 days ago
    Men are so dumb. They always go for the power. So an old geezer who is no doubt totally powerless in his own life stokes himself a little by insulting a woman. On top of it he's a coward because he thought you wouldn't understand.

    Oof, this blog made me so mad I could spit. I know I just made a dumb generalization but that's how mad the story makes me!

    You did right by not calling him an AH and escalating the situation. Now, look at yourself in the mirror and see who has the power!!!!
    1718 days ago
    When I glanced at your sparkpage before reading your blog, I was thinking "She is really beautiful and has a great smile!" I vote to ignore this old guy. He is an idiot!
    1718 days ago
    You are going places ,, you have come far.. Keep that POSITIVE perspective.. Mean people have their own Karma.. and you have JOY that runs deep from Accomplishment !!

    Your JOY runs deep and you have helped many more people than you probably even know with just the hope your journey brings others..

    much love,
    1718 days ago
    I am so sorry that you had to deal with someone pure stupidity. You are beautiful and amazing. You are a true inspiration to everyone on SP. I can tell by your blog you are already moving on from his hurtful words. emoticon
    1718 days ago
    I send emoticon to you for this insanity. Personally I know I would have said something to the man POLITELY! He assumed you didn't understand him, but to make him beat face red I would have asked him if he mind saying that in English since he felt it was necessary to voice. His balls was not as big as he thought they were because he chose not to say it where he knew you understood. Ugliness comes in all forms and he shall reap what he sews. I'm glad you hung in there and didn't shed tears for his stupidity and inconsiderate behaviour. Stay strong Hun you're amazing!!!
    1718 days ago
  • COOP9002
    You are beautiful just the way you are. Don't listen to the goofballs who can't see that. Blessings to you on your journey.
    1718 days ago
    I wept when I read this! People do not realize how much damage they can do with their words. You have to keep your head up and realize you have come so far and look amazing!!! Do not let someone's insensitive comments knock you down! Use it as fuel to keep on pushing and to continue succeeding! emoticon
    1718 days ago
    You are so amazing. To take such a terrible and cruel situation and come out so positive is just so inspiring. You have done AMAZING things in your life and you should be proud..you are an inspiration and a motivator and have the best attitude.
    1718 days ago
    You are beautiful and have accomplished more with your weight loss than that idiot has probably done in his lifetime. Don't let him derail you! emoticon
    1718 days ago
    You are beautiful! Don't let the negativity of others dim your self esteem
    1718 days ago
    WOW... what a journey you are on! Great job on the weight loss. I do much better when I don't absorb other peoples' comments or compare myself to others. I know it's difficult, but you look fantastic and your attitude is commendable!

    Keep up the great work - and don't let outsiders tell us who we are! emoticon
    1718 days ago
  • MSKIZ69
    What a rude troll that man was-but do not let him steal your joy you have done wonderfully and look amazing!!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1718 days ago
    Good on you for not starting a fight with a "tu madre." LOL!

    You're gorgeous and you know it. Don't let some bitter, ugly, old man make you feel otherwise. He's just mad because you are way too hot for the likes of him.
    1718 days ago
    Good grief what a moron. There are a lot of them out there. I know it's hard to let it go but try, don't let that poor excuse of a man creep into your day.

    You look FANTASTIC!

    I'm going to repeat what SMD said, it is a reflection on him, not you. He had nothing better to do in his day than to belittle someone for no reason.

    I think you are amazing!
    1718 days ago
    Let it go. Its not worth it.

    You look fantastic and should be proud of it. And of what you've accomplished.
    1718 days ago
    I would have turned around and said mucho gracios!
    1718 days ago
    People can be so mean, besides he used incorrect grammar. I'm a white boy and know that. I realized that when I am rude and sacastic, it is a reflection of me, not the other person. If these are before and after pictures, you look fantastic.
    1718 days ago
    Old hispanic men. You just wanna smack them upside the head sometimes. I know we used to have one that lived in front of us & he always told my husband that he was scared of me because I was "too big". What?? OMG!!

    You look amazing. Find the pep in your step!! If you don't then you will allow him to have beat you. Yes, it stings... I know all too well but one man's opinion does NOT make or break you.

    I hope you get that wonderful feeling back that you had this morning.
    Have a great rest of your day!!!
    1718 days ago
    You are GORGEOUS...lolol. And I don't mean 'because you're my friend and I love you' gorgeous. I mean, 'smokin' hot, lookin' like sex on a stick' gorgeous! To be honest, hurt feelings and all aside, this is almost laughable, Brittney. It really boils down to what YOU CHOOSE to interpret from it.

    Funny...you didn't mention what this person even looked like. I bet he was old, fat, bald and toothless...'cause the brother HAD to be BLIND!

    I love you BabyDoll...keep your big girl panties on and keep on keepin' on...You Sexy Thang.... ;-)~~~~
    1718 days ago

    Comment edited on: 7/3/2013 12:31:05 PM
    Aww...you look great! And you have such a good attitude about what that guy said. That would make me pretty upset! He had no idea what kind of journey you have been on and are continuing on. And besides, it was just a flat-out lie!

    You are beautiful and doing so well! Keep up the great work!
    1718 days ago
  • ABAKER34
    You look fantastic, don't let negative people get you down!
    1718 days ago
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