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Raw (Day 650)

Wednesday, July 03, 2013

Hi all!

Happy Wednesday! How are you all today? The week is halfway through already, crazy, huh? It is a beautiful day here but it is starting to warm up again. The past few days have been amazing temperature wise but it is July, so I should expect 80 and 90-degree weather. Oh and just a quick warning, I'm going to be pretty raw today and much of my writing won’t be the happiest.

I had a phone interview yesterday and it went wonderfully. My interviewer wanted me to have an in person interview with the next person in line next week. :) I am quite hopeful for this job, it would be amazing. Please be thinking and praying for me about that, I would greatly appreciate it. This job would mean more to me than having a job, it would mean having a routine and being able to better control my eating.

Time to be honest: I know that the other day I posted a blog about refocusing and I truly am trying to but the afternoons and evenings are hard. My mornings are filled with Starbucks and Skyping with Abid but I spend the rest of the day by myself. I try to keep myself preoccupied with homework and other things but it gets lonely. And what do I do when I am lonely? I eat… it is not something I am proud of but it’s the truth. I was stupid and bought a little snack type food, thinking that I would be able to control myself. I am not to that point yet though. So no more snack food in the house for me, I know that I cannot control myself with it yet. I just really need to get back into a good routine and I have not been able to find one when I am not working.
It doesn't help that I'm missing Abid like crazy; it’s been getting harder to be apart. I mean, I’m in this new chapter of my life and he is a part of it. But I want him to actually be a part of it, not just over Skype or on the phone, in person. I want us to start our life together and really be a family. Don't get me wrong, I know how lucky I am to have someone in my life who loves me just as much as I love him. And I'm incredibly thankful that he is in my life but it’s hard.

Sorry I'm so down today, but this is just something I need to get out. None of us are happy all the time though. One thing I love about blogging is that I can be raw and emotional. But it’s homework time, like usual. :) Have an amazing day everyone. So until next time!

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    :) How much longer til he comes back?

    I found out that I am not ready to have certain foods in the house yet either. I eat them all:)

    Try to stay focused on your school work. I am studying for a test right now and that is when my guard is down too....and I want sweets! CRAZY! I never want them any other time other than when I am stressed. I will be happy when the exam is over and life can return to normal:)

    Hope you have a great weekend!
    1596 days ago
    emoticon know how you are feeling love.i am having a skype relationship with lotfi again as he is in tunisia at the moment and as usual the skype conection there is so bad that we have to turn off the webcam just to try and understand what the other one is saying and like you when the kids are in bed i am pigging it out because i am lonely.the worse thing is i am not even trying to stop myself from doing it and even encouraging myself i have brought so cheese fondou tonight and also some cornetto(4)enigmas as they were on special half price offer.no excuse really just that i don´t even care. emoticon
    1598 days ago
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