Wednesday, July 03, 2013
So the weight loss is starting to slow down - as I expected and as I know is 'usual' for me - but again... it's different this time. At this point in the past, I've started to get a bit slack with my recording of food and food choices in general... there's a lot of seemingly positive self talk which is actually NOT so positive. I'm sure some of you know what I mean... that little voice telling you how great you're looking, that you've lost several stone now - that's an awesome achievement! Who cares if you take this one trip to Maccas (or wherever) And then the next day it's dessert... and the next is drinks and nibbles with friends that get out of hand... and then the next day - you get the picture! In the past, as the weight loss slows, so does my motivation. I feel better, I look different... so I let things slide more easily.
This time... despite losing 24kgs now (around 3 and a half stone I think) and looking quite different to how I did in February and FEELING amazing... I am MORE motivated than ever to keep going. I have my goals and my spread sheet and I'm excited about actually getting "there" finally! Although, I'm not entirely sure where "there" is right now... my next goal is to be 140kgs by the end of this year - which basically means losing another 20kgs in about 6 months... which is a bit of a stretch now that things are slowing down a little, but I think it's still achievable.
Anyway, my point is that I just keep setting 'mini' goals but I'm not sure what my "final" weight will be. If I go by the height/ weight charts, I should be around 75-80kgs... but years ago I was seeing a doctor who specialised in weight loss, and she told me that because of my unusual body structure and weight distribution, I would look too thin at 75kgs and actually, I would be better to aim for around 90-100kgs. So you see my dilemma! To me, 100kgs seems like too high and I would still be unhealthy... but then, I have recently weighed in at 185kgs and have exhibited no real health problems apart from a dodgy thyroid and insulin resistance (no high blood pressure, no diabetes, no high cholesterol...) and I was still living a fairly normal life - going to work, shopping, washing, cleaning etc - so maybe my body is made to be happy around 100kgs? Or maybe I'm completely in denial!!?
So, my decision is to keep setting smaller short term goals and see how I feel at each milestone. Once I get to 140kg, I'll aim for 120kg... and then 100kg... and then I'll see how I'm feeling and go from there! As long as I'm feeling healthy and I like the way I look, I'll be happy! (Although, I must admit, the desire be in the double figures rather than triple is VERY strong!!)