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    CM_GARDNER78   115,038
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PAWSE - and REALLY ponder...


Wednesday, July 03, 2013

Is there a scarier feeling than apathy? I'm starting to think not. That's how this week has been going for me....

Let me start out by saying, we were challenged to NOT GAIN this week - and I met that goal! I lost .8 this week...which when you look back at the kind of week I had, is amazing in and of itself! So, I am not exactly on track to lose 6 pounds in three weeks - in two more weeks I still would like to lose 5.2. It might be possible, but I certainly won't count it the end of the world if I don't. I just know I am SO CLOSE to getting into the 210's that it really does tend to drive me to want to do it quickly for the FEEL of getting to that goal. But - numbers are numbers - and they play out in whatever way they will. I'm not stressing about it.

This week was another week I struggled with fitness. Every day was a struggle to get anything accomplished. (Except for Friday - we had Relay for Life, and I was able to get in 2 hours no problem! Not to mention all the time spent in the bouncy house...) My streaks are alive. Barely, but alive nonetheless!

Challenges - again - barely. I did them...but I'm hanging by a thread. It was difficult. But I managed to eek them out all week. On the plus side, I am glad that I am at the very least TRYING and accomplishing something....but I'm also frustrated with my lack of caring right now.

My biggest goal for the upcoming week is to keep PUSHING myself back into caring again. There is nothing more frustrating than wanting something - yet not caring about getting it. How weird does that sound?! I'm still focused to the point where I haven't tossed my eating out the window - I'm still on track with that. Even my water suffered the last couple of days. *sigh*

I am just going to pull up my big girl panties and DO WHAT I NEED TO DO, whether I like it or not!! I know that most of the time I can do something, and the feelings will come later. It's my mantra - I've been living it for years now - FAKE IT 'TILL I MAKE IT!!

I don't mean to be such a Debbie downer this week - I just don't feel so great about the week - despite my loss....despite still exercising somewhat....despite eating well...I'm just not feeling it. I am focusing my energy on that all week. I will make me want to want it again! Next week will be more optimistic! Promise!

(((HUGS)))
~ Christa
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
INSPIRATIONAL3 7/15/2013 5:30PM

    IF THE ONLY THING YOU GET FROM THE TEAM IS TO GET OUT OF A FUNK AND MOTIVATED THEN IT WAS ALL WORTH WHILE. KEEP REACHING OUT FOR WHAT YOU NEED AND HOPEFULLY WITH ALL OF US SHARING SOMEONE MIGHT GIVE YOU A KEY OF INFORMATION THAT UNLOCKS SOME OF THOSE THINGS BURDENING AND KEEPING YOU FROM YOUR OWN PERSONAL GOALS AND SUCCESSES. YOU ARE SO WORTH PUSHING ON TILL SOMETHING CLICKS.

YOU ARE SO WORTH ALL THE WORK YOU PUT INTO YOURSELF
emoticon M emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 7/15/2013 5:33:40 PM

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NIGHTASBYDAY 7/7/2013 10:41PM

    CHRISTA- I guess like me you have to just find a answer, but in mean time just like me we need to go on and keep working on this issue as they tell us no matter what the numbers,
its gets me to when the team is expecting a loss but we gain that makes me feel like a loser to ,
emoticon emoticon

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SANDYBREIT 7/3/2013 10:07PM

    Hey, I'm right there with you as far as the BLC challenges and stuff! I'm participating, but definitely not doing as much as I feel I should... AND I gained back a pound over the past week, despite being so stressed that I haven't even wanted to eat that much.

The good news... I resolved my work-related issue today (we use a FundBalance utility billing program), so now I can spend the 4th celebrating with family and not worrying about it. Hope your holiday weekend is full of fireworks !

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Sandy

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SUMTHINGSPECIAL 7/3/2013 1:42PM

    I think we all need a recharge from time to time - and some of us more than others. There's nothing to be ashamed in that - it is all a matter of growth - and it sounds like you've been doing quite a lot of it!

Progress is not only in how much we have lost - but it is also in how much we have gained - you have quite a lot of good habits you are building. And - it is such an accomplishment when the scale just doesn't show any gains. Before, what would it have been?

You will feel that energy surge and pull you through - sooner or later. Until then, keep making wise decisions. I am proud of you!

Sumay

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GORIANA 7/3/2013 11:20AM

    Christa, the numbers are just feedback. They can help us figure out if what we do is enough. Finding a fun workout makes it easier for me. I hope you can get back on your grove. Until then, pretending you 'feel' it will get you forward too.

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SJKENT1 7/3/2013 8:38AM

    Christa, I sent you a message. I'm rooting for you my friend... praying ... and hoping for your spark to start illuminating your path. Think of a path of sparklers - all for you!!

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FUNLOVEN 7/3/2013 8:26AM

    emoticon Sometimes in my connection with SP I always seem to manage to find a glimmering "spark" of something that reignites me emoticon I hope you can find it to!

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MLH148 7/3/2013 8:01AM

    Hope you get your spark back soon. Look at what your normal was before-- a "lazy" day now could have been a banner day then. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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1LBATATIME 7/3/2013 7:56AM

    Christa --We all have our up and down days. Way to hang in there even though you didn't feel like it. emoticon emoticon Maybe changing things up a bit would help. I think it is important to find exercises that you enjoy. You seemed to like the group activities.

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