PAWSE - and REALLY ponder...
Wednesday, July 03, 2013
Is there a scarier feeling than apathy? I'm starting to think not. That's how this week has been going for me....
Let me start out by saying, we were challenged to NOT GAIN this week - and I met that goal! I lost .8 this week...which when you look back at the kind of week I had, is amazing in and of itself! So, I am not exactly on track to lose 6 pounds in three weeks - in two more weeks I still would like to lose 5.2. It might be possible, but I certainly won't count it the end of the world if I don't. I just know I am SO CLOSE to getting into the 210's that it really does tend to drive me to want to do it quickly for the FEEL of getting to that goal. But - numbers are numbers - and they play out in whatever way they will. I'm not stressing about it.
This week was another week I struggled with fitness. Every day was a struggle to get anything accomplished. (Except for Friday - we had Relay for Life, and I was able to get in 2 hours no problem! Not to mention all the time spent in the bouncy house...) My streaks are alive. Barely, but alive nonetheless!
Challenges - again - barely. I did them...but I'm hanging by a thread. It was difficult. But I managed to eek them out all week. On the plus side, I am glad that I am at the very least TRYING and accomplishing something....but I'm also frustrated with my lack of caring right now.
My biggest goal for the upcoming week is to keep PUSHING myself back into caring again. There is nothing more frustrating than wanting something - yet not caring about getting it. How weird does that sound?! I'm still focused to the point where I haven't tossed my eating out the window - I'm still on track with that. Even my water suffered the last couple of days. *sigh*
I am just going to pull up my big girl panties and DO WHAT I NEED TO DO, whether I like it or not!! I know that most of the time I can do something, and the feelings will come later. It's my mantra - I've been living it for years now - FAKE IT 'TILL I MAKE IT!!
I don't mean to be such a Debbie downer this week - I just don't feel so great about the week - despite my loss....despite still exercising somewhat....despite eating well...I'm just not feeling it. I am focusing my energy on that all week. I will make me want to want it again! Next week will be more optimistic! Promise!