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    HEALTHYNCGAL   9,957
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A step in the right direction.

Tuesday, July 02, 2013

I have been thinking about my friends quite a bit over the past several months. I don't have a lot of friends left anymore, but the ones I do have are very precious to me. I will admit that I don't see my friends very often. A few years ago, we had company ALL THE TIME. Then crazy things started happening with quite a few of my "friends" and I just stopped seeing them....not only them, I stopped seeing all my friends, really. It wasn't just that, but I got tired of always being the one to invite people over. We had people over to our house all the time, at least once per week, and never (truly never) got invited anywhere in return...unless it was some after-hours party that I couldn't go to and then I was outcast for not going.

Anyway...one of my friends from college lives just about 30-40 minutes away. I live in the mountains and she lives just over the mountain from me. We went to college together. Anyway, she was raised by her grandparents and called them Mom and Dad. Her mom died a few years ago and with a hefty inheritance, she and her husband were able to put quite a bit of money down on this GREAT house in a neighborhood next to the one I grew up in. It's one of those old, established neighborhoods with the big trees, shady yards, the same people have lived there for going on thirty years, etc. My friend told me that during the Christmas vacations, all the "kids" come home for the holidays...but the "kids" are our age -- in their late 20s or early 30s! LOL...it's just a great place. So the other day, I sent her a message and told her I had seen on Facebook about her dad passing away. I told her I would be happy to help in anyway that I could...I would be happy to watch the kids one night if she and her husband wanted to go out to dinner or something. The next morning, she responded, and said how lovely that would be to have a kid-free evening after everything that's gone on. She was overjoyed and we've been corresponding tonight about details. It feels so good and I'm really glad I contacted her. I just feel better about myself when I'm helping others, when I'm helping make someone's load a little bit lighter. I took a Psychology class once, and we were discussing the idea of whether or not there are any truly selfless acts out there...there's that old saying, "it feels good to do good," etc....I can see the point in it, but from a personal standpoint, in this example especially, I didn't reach out to my friend so that I would feel good...I reached out to her so that SHE would feel good. I truly wanted to make her life a little better, even if it was just for a few hours. Yes, in the end, I feel very good about things...but I did it for her, not for me. (That's just something I thought of a little while ago). I'm proud of myself that I stepped out of my comfort zone and asked a friend if she would like me to do something for her. I'm so glad she said yes.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FEMISLIM 7/3/2013 6:43PM

    You are blessed.

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TINADEE86 7/3/2013 11:47AM

    It is so hard to find a true friend anymore. You are a special person!

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KITT52 7/3/2013 10:28AM

    good job, you are a true friend

have a healthy day

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FITFRIT 7/2/2013 11:01PM

    It is wonderful to have truly valuable friends! I am a psychology major and even I struggle sometimes with how to reach out to friends dealing with grief. You did great!

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NENIKO 7/2/2013 10:58PM

    It's awesome that you reached out to someone. I'm glad she reached back too. Helping others is not always just to make ourselves happy. I believe if we can see someone else's need, we should try and offer help. Having lost both her parents, it would probably be a great thing for her to reconnect with her partner/husband, and a child free night would probably help a lot. You're a kind person for having done such a thing.

I truly understand your feeling of being the one who always invites others to your house but never gets an invite in return. My husband and I are in the same boat. We've many friends who we have dropped off at their homes after they've been visiting and stayed past the last bus, but NEVER have we been invited to their houses for anything. It's a little saddening, and frustrating when that happens, isn't it.

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