Working and worrying
Tuesday, July 02, 2013
Not feeling motivated today. Haven't all week. Or since the weekend. I have a BIG test on Saturday, the "APT", basically to determine my proficiency as a teacher. It's the second to last step in becoming certified. I am trying to just relax so I can study well. But...
I'm just having trouble focusing. I have been sick for about four days now. I can't sleep on my stomach--which is a big deal, because I always sleep on my stomach. But now it causes me immense pain and discomfort. So I can't sleep, which makes me more stressed out and less able to focus.
I have also been having crazy, vivid, stressful dreams when I do sleep. That's saying a lot for me, because my dreams (100% of the time, seriously) are always like movies. They have a beginning, a middle, and an end. These are just like that, except they cause me great stress, even if the situations in the dreams aren't bad or stressful.
Needless to say... We haven't really ruled out pregnancy. We're thinking I might be one of those people who doesn't produce enough hCG for a regular pregnancy test to detect it. So I'll need a blood test. And probably some other tests? We're just hoping that my husband's new health insurance will be available very soon because I can't take much more of this.
I promise--if I AM pregnant, I will be happy. I will be overjoyed! I will likely still be uncomfortable and worried, but at least it will be WORTH IT.
So I need your encouragement, your prayers, your kind words right now. I need to pass the test on Saturday, I need to just get through this week and then I can relax for a little bit.