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    KT-NICHOLS-13   42,969
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Crossing Over to the Other Side (Part 3)

Tuesday, July 02, 2013

A delayed Part 3

My home computer/office used to be in the living room at the old place so I'd come home from work (8 hrs on the computer) and sit at my desk to eat dinner, watch TV, play scrabble and mindlessly surf the internet. Now that I've moved the system into the spare room I rarely use the computer when I return home from work. This is definitely a positive step but I miss some of the connectivity I had - I'll get over it. It's healthier this way. Also, this should also explain why Part 3 has been delayed.

After we moved I went back to the old apartment to clean and clean and clean. I use the oven A LOT and it needed a deep cleaning as did the bathroom. I want my deposit back to replenish the deposit I made for the new place so I sucked it up and started the cleaning process. As I told a friend I think I should apologize to Mother Earth for setting off a chemical bomb in there as I set out to clean. The bathroom was easy. The bedroom and living room just needed to be vacuumed, even though they are going to put down new carpeting. The kitchen was a a different story. I generally clean the oven with all natural products but this time I bought the heavy duty cleaners ... it worked and everything looked great when I was finished. I might have killed a piece of my lung due to the fumes though. *FACE/PALM*

I held onto our keys till the bitter end. After all, I paid for the space SO I was going to keep the space. Others in my life were a bit sad that I was leaving this home behind but I tell ya what, I didn't look back. I handed over those keys and was happy to walk out the front door for the last time. The manager expressed how great the apartment looked after 10.5 years and that the carpet was in great shape. *SMILES* Being able to walk out without looking back confirmed that I had made the right decision! I was now at peace AND I was done.

A few days later I had a check-in regarding my weight loss. What with starting medication for a tired thyroid and moving I wasn't sure where I would be. At one point I was down to 198 but I knew that was temporary due to being completely dehydrated and eating minimal amounts of calories in a day. I was okay with this and took comfort in the fact that I had in fact made it to the other side of 200 again. It confirmed that it was possible and I rejoiced in just knowing this. By the time I did a "real" check-in I'd plumped back up with water and healthy foods but still logged a 2 lbs weight loss. *FIST PUMP* My real success was never allowing myself mentally to be okay with eating foods that didn't offer any nutritional value. My mental wellness journey is my current battle. It's gotten better as I no longer take one piece of chocolate and believe I should have 10. I never gave myself permission to go off my track during this time period ... that was key.

I started unpacking immediately, trying to find some order amongst what seemed like madness. It's been slow going due to being pulled in every direction. All I want to do is be in the new place even if that means just sitting still. I'd say at this time 90% of the boxes are unpacked and things are organized. Sadly, it's my clothes and office that are in need of attention.

The furry ones have adjusted nicely. They run, play and often can be found sitting in a window admiring their surroundings. The wee ones went for a checkup the other day ... a clean bill of health. I suspect with all the room to roam my big boys will drop the 3 lbs that the vet said would be ideal. Irie is no longer waking me up in the middle of the night which has helped with my sleep quality which helps with my state of mind.

I've mentioned before the Mr being on a program I don't necessarily approve of but he's happily losing weight and eating healthy foods. Another happy fact is that we no longer have trigger foods in the house. I still have chocolate in the house but I've tucked it so far up and away that it takes an act of acrobatics to get to it - so much so I don't even bother. HA! Being on the same healthy page has been refreshing. We even get up early on the weekends and go for a 2+ mile walk together.

The new neighborhood is fun to explore. There are things I adore about it and things I just brush away. There's always a good and bad ... I'm choosing to concentrate on the good.

I don't often turn to others for "approval" when it comes to life decisions. I was raised to be independent and self sufficient - a true gift from my parents. So imagine the sting I felt when my own mother questioned two of my decisions: 1) keeping the wee ones and 2) moving. She felt the move was ill timed what with my office in a financial crunch and talks of closing were fresh from two-ish months ago. She also felt strongly that the wee ones should just be given back after all they are expensive. AND, you'll have four if you keep them. *SIGH*

As for the move ... it was either move now or keep killing a piece of myself everyday I lived at the old place. A job is never secure, even after 12 years of service to this one company I know I can be let go at a moments notice.

As for the wee ones ... yup, they can be expensive especially when you take care of them like I do. Yet, I would NOT take part in the "return policy" as listed in the adoption agreement. If I didn't have better manners (learned from said mom) I would have asked dear mom what she would say if I got pregnant ... after all babies/children are darn expensive too. Would she want me to forgo the pregnancy to save a buck &/or adopt the child out (not opposed to that, I'm adopted myself) so I didn't have the expense?

I say all this because sometimes we just have to take flying leap and go! I don't always leap but when I do I've generally done all the homework and weighed the pros and cons. If nothing else ... I was tired of standing still. I understand concerns, especially from mom, but I don't understand negative feedback. It doesn't compute in my world.

In other news: I've started taking an aqua zumba class. What flipp'n fun this has been! It's an evening, 90 minute class in an outside side pool. It's a great way to workout AND to beat the heat. Yesterday I went and bought a new one piece swim suit ... an XL from Wal-Mart. It looks amazing and I feel athletic wearing it. I strutted my stuff on the pool deck last night like I was on the catwalk. I might be curvy but I'm gonna work it!

This weekend I have a color run in SF. My fitness friend and I are still working out the schedule for working out. Now that I'm in a different location I have to do all the traveling. I don't mind that it's just the time it takes to get to and from via the bus and train.

The bay area is HOT this week. All of our beloved fog has left and we're left with the sun trying to cook us to death. I'm hoping this ends NOW. If that's not bad enough our mass transit system ... BART ... is in the middle of a labor dispute which means it's shut down. I now have the pleasure of rising at 5:00 a.m. to catch a 6:13 a.m. bus to arrive an hour early for my job just so I can be at my job. It's messy.

My thyroid medication is maybe working. I have to get retested this month to see. I do know it makes me overheat and nauseous within about an hour of taking it. That makes me think an adjustment is needed.

So as you can tell ... crossing over to the other side has not come without growth pains. I've learned a lot in the process and I take comfort in knowing I made it and I'm better for it. Change is constant and it's darn uncomfortable BUT it's necessary to if you want to move forward.

What's next for me? Not sure. I know I'll write about my color run. Be well and know ... YOU.ARE.FABULOUS!
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TRENTDREAMER 7/4/2013 9:53AM

    "This is definitely a positive step but I miss some of the connectivity I had - I'll get over it. It's healthier this way. "
* Amen!

" it worked and everything looked great when I was finished. I might have killed a piece of my lung due to the fumes though. *FACE/PALM* "
* They can be rough.

" Being able to walk out without looking back confirmed that I had made the right decision! I was now at peace AND I was done. "
* :)

"Another happy fact is that we no longer have trigger foods in the house. I still have chocolate in the house but I've tucked it so far up and away that it takes an act of acrobatics to get to it "
* But if you do bother, don't forget to log the minutes of acrobatics in the fitness tracker. You can probably get SparkPoints for that.

" My real success was never allowing myself mentally to be okay with eating foods that didn't offer any nutritional value."
* Again, Amen! I'm getting there myself


"A job is never secure, even after 12 years of service to this one company I know I can be let go at a moments notice. "
* That kept me at my last apartment 4 extremely long years that it shouldn't have. Glad that you moved!

"If I didn't have better manners (learned from said mom) I would have asked dear mom what she would say if I got pregnant ... after all babies/children are darn expensive too"
* You showed a lot of restraint, grace and class. I would have absolutely said that.

"I was tired of standing still. I understand concerns, especially from mom, but I don't understand negative feedback. It doesn't compute in my world. "
* Parents struggle when they're concerned with grown children who make decisions based on different models than theirs. When a child has grown up and is really strong, sometimes they forget that they are still mom/dad. Not saying that's the case with yours.

" I strutted my stuff on the pool deck last night like I was on the catwalk. I might be curvy but I'm gonna work it!"
* Congrats and "Go You!"

" Change is constant and it's darn uncomfortable BUT it's necessary to if you want to move forward. "
* Proud of you for making it.

" Be well and know ... YOU.ARE.FABULOUS! "
* Duly noted!!

Comment edited on: 7/4/2013 9:55:01 AM

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MANLEYSANDY 7/2/2013 5:06PM

    So happy for you!

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