Tuesday, July 02, 2013
The other day I wrote about basically being "little Miss Antisocial" because of not wanting to sabotage my efforts for my "detox" . . . and you know what?? I am SO glad I did what I did.
I am back in range, debloated, feeling more in control instead of the social scene being in control of me, and it really does make a difference on one's psyche.
I shouldn't be surprised at this since I have done it for so long now, but really, it always does in a way. . . and I also get the phrase going through my head: "Why didn't you do this 3 weeks ago when you were in a uber-funk?"
It's the same as someone saying that they never regret working out. Same difference here.
It's always about taking that first step, that first effort, to get moving in the correct direction.
It's scary because it takes effort.
It's scary because it's all on you.
It's scary because in the end, no one is going to catch you but yourself...and sometimes we let ourselves down.
Some of us (including me) can change that last "sometimes" to "a lot of the times" depending on the season right? Right.
I think the mental struggle is really the hardest part of losing and keeping the weight off. That whole "will power" thing really has something to it. It takes extra effort to think of EVERYthing when it comes to this part of our lives:
I have to drink water - I hate water
I have to eat more fruit but there is nothing in the house
I have to get to the store
What am I going to make for a whole 7 days?
Will the kids or the significant other eat this with me?
I don't really want to go to the gym
I don't have a gym
I really hate cooking
I really hate prepping things and the pre-prepped are too expensive
I don't want to spend $$ on this food or that food
I really don't want to give up this or that - it's my only joy in life
I will go nuts if I don't have my Diet C-ke
I can't eat carrots forever
Etc. etc. this list goes on and on.
..and sometimes, going to what is easiest when we are stressed, not feeling well, unsupported, down. . . well, it's just easier to do that than to think because really, sometimes we are just "done" with what life has been throwing at us.
"Life gets in the way" is my most favorite phrase because it rings so true.
Anyway, the point here is that the first step is always the hardest... in ANYthing that we do it seems. And it's hard to remember (like it's amnesia or something) that once the first step was taken, it's the most thrilling, the most exciting, the most fulfilling thing that we have ever experienced. It's a fleeting feeling...like getting on to that scary roller coaster for the first time. It's the heart in your chest, blood pumping through your body, it's the anxiety of the unknown.....and then you just do it and in that split second.... the moment is gone... because it's replaced by other feelings and emotions.
I wish I cold bottle it up and keep it in my pocket for when I am down. I wish I could do more things that bring that feeling around myself, but sometimes "Life gets in the way" and it's not the right time.
But this...eating right and moving... this I CAN do every day. The small decisions that make me feel better. This I can do. It's all me. It's all right now. It's not a roller coaster, but rather it's more like a marathon; and in the end I will have more energy, better health, better skin, better stamina to do those things that DO give that instantaneous thrill and also the joy that comes from observing life outside of our own inner feelings that sometimes get in the way too - like seeing your kid hit a ball or your cousins playing and growing together and just laughing.
Like a Sparkfriend NUOVAELLE said to me recently.... It's the everyday "Gleams of Joy" that we see that will make these everyday decisions to be healthy matter the most.