Edit: (Note: Some sentences of this blog are written in all capital letters. This is not for the purpose of yelling. It is for the purpose of emphasis since we do not have the ability to embolden or underline text.)
There are times when, for various reasons, I stop working my plan. It is what I call "a breakdown." Here are a couple of observations I have made as to why I have breakdowns.
The breakdown is what happens when I begin to get emotionally overwhelmed.
Here is how it plays out:
I begin to...no, wait...I CHOOSE to lose my focus on my plan of action.
I CHOOSE to eat whatever I want to eat (i.e. candy, which I very rarely eat, OR too many calories loaded with far too much sodium, sugar, and fat) instead of sticking to planning out my meals for a balance of carbs, protein, fat, fiber, and various nutrients.
I CHOOSE to stop logging my food.
I CHOOSE to slow down almost to the point of paralysis again (my couch potato self).
THIS IS A WASTE OF ALL THE WORK I HAVE DONE AND ALL THE WEIGHT I HAVE LOST.
I WILL STOP SELF-SABOTAGING.
FOOD AND BEING A COUCH POTATO DOES NOT COMFORT MY EMOTIONS.
Sticking to the plan,
Tracking my food,
Tracking my fitness,
Accomplishing my goals
The breakdown happens whenever someone comes home from being away for a while or I have out of town visitors.
Here is how it plays out:
I CHOOSE to stop my plan.
I CHOOSE to cook what they like to eat and eat it with them.
I CHOOSE to stop all other activity besides my early morning walk in order to "be available" to them for whatever they may want or need.
I CHOOSE to sit on the couch like a potato and try to find things to do online while I wait on them to want to do something that includes me. (What am I thinking?!? This is just stupid!)
I know how I got into this habit and it was by being a wife and mother whose life revolved around everyone else. My main purpose was to shuttle kids back and forth to places, take care of all the little odds and ends of things that had to be taken care of for everyone in a busy home that was filled with people, and have no life or interests of my own.
Now everyone is gone...literally....and I got stuck somewhere along the way.
BECAUSE I CHOSE TO DO SO.
THIS IS NOT PROPER THINKING ON MY PART.
I, AND NO ONE ELSE, AM RESPONSIBLE FOR MY LIFE.
I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR ONLY MY LIFE AND NOT THE LIVES OF OTHERS.
I cannot answer for them; They cannot answer for me.
I cannot make choices for them; they cannot make my choices.
I cannot do for them and they cannot do for me what we can only do for ourselves.
I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR MY LIFE.
"Challenges are what make life interesting and overcoming them is what makes life meaningful." - Joshua J. Marine
"Sow an act, and you reap a habit; sow a habit, and you reap a character; sow a character, and you reap a destiny."
~George Dana Boardman
"Break it down:
As long as you're moving forward, you will eventually reach the top." ~Coach Nicole