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observing a breakdown


Tuesday, July 02, 2013

Edit: (Note: Some sentences of this blog are written in all capital letters. This is not for the purpose of yelling. It is for the purpose of emphasis since we do not have the ability to embolden or underline text.) emoticon

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There are times when, for various reasons, I stop working my plan. It is what I call "a breakdown." Here are a couple of observations I have made as to why I have breakdowns.

Observation #1:

The breakdown is what happens when I begin to get emotionally overwhelmed.
Here is how it plays out:

I begin to...no, wait...I CHOOSE to lose my focus on my plan of action.
I CHOOSE to eat whatever I want to eat (i.e. candy, which I very rarely eat, OR too many calories loaded with far too much sodium, sugar, and fat) instead of sticking to planning out my meals for a balance of carbs, protein, fat, fiber, and various nutrients.
I CHOOSE to stop logging my food.
I CHOOSE to slow down almost to the point of paralysis again (my couch potato self).

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THIS IS A WASTE OF ALL THE WORK I HAVE DONE AND ALL THE WEIGHT I HAVE LOST.

I WILL STOP SELF-SABOTAGING.

Lesson LEARNED:
FOOD AND BEING A COUCH POTATO DOES NOT COMFORT MY EMOTIONS.
Sticking to the plan,
Tracking my food,
Tracking my fitness,
Accomplishing my goals
DOES!

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Observation #2:

The breakdown happens whenever someone comes home from being away for a while or I have out of town visitors.

Here is how it plays out:

I CHOOSE to stop my plan.
I CHOOSE to cook what they like to eat and eat it with them.
I CHOOSE to stop all other activity besides my early morning walk in order to "be available" to them for whatever they may want or need.
I CHOOSE to sit on the couch like a potato and try to find things to do online while I wait on them to want to do something that includes me. (What am I thinking?!? This is just stupid!)

I know how I got into this habit and it was by being a wife and mother whose life revolved around everyone else. My main purpose was to shuttle kids back and forth to places, take care of all the little odds and ends of things that had to be taken care of for everyone in a busy home that was filled with people, and have no life or interests of my own.

Now everyone is gone...literally....and I got stuck somewhere along the way.

BECAUSE I CHOSE TO DO SO.

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THIS IS NOT PROPER THINKING ON MY PART.

I, AND NO ONE ELSE, AM RESPONSIBLE FOR MY LIFE.
I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR ONLY MY LIFE AND NOT THE LIVES OF OTHERS.
I cannot answer for them; They cannot answer for me.
I cannot make choices for them; they cannot make my choices.
I cannot do for them and they cannot do for me what we can only do for ourselves.

I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR MY LIFE.

EVERY DAY.

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"Challenges are what make life interesting and overcoming them is what makes life meaningful." - Joshua J. Marine

"Sow an act, and you reap a habit; sow a habit, and you reap a character; sow a character, and you reap a destiny."
~George Dana Boardman

"Break it down:

One step.
One minute.
One mile.
One workout.
One choice.
One bite.
One meal.
One hour.
One day.
One week.
One pound.

As long as you're moving forward, you will eventually reach the top." ~Coach Nicole







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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
SUNPANTHER 7/5/2013 9:41PM

    Well said, Josie!
Good luck with your ADULT choices, minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day.

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DAWNSJOURNEY 7/3/2013 10:56AM

    JOSIE,
I oohh so relate . and I CHOOSE a lot of the same things you did .. but no more I CHOOSE ME NOW ! thanks for your inspiration and reminders today ..

Have a happy hump day ,
Dawn

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IACTA_ALEA_EST 7/3/2013 8:45AM

    Thanks for the motivation!

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REZNUT 7/2/2013 5:14PM

    Fantastic blog! I really enjoyed it and can relate to so much of it even though I've never been a wife or mother. Thank you for sharing your thoughts!

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KAYLSLYNN 7/2/2013 11:49AM

    THANKS I HAVE DONE THE SAME THING. HAVE A BLESSED DAY KAY

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JENNAWW4LIFE 7/2/2013 8:52AM

  This is an absolutely wonderful blog! I have made the same observations in my journey (just haven't stated them as well as you have) and it's wonderful when we get to that point where we can make these observations and use them to carry us farther :) Definitely learning those lessons!
One of the quotes from my Weight Watchers group that I've always liked is "If hunger isn't the problem, then food isn't the solution."

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HAPPYDOES 7/2/2013 8:30AM

    Thank you all.

I am going to go back into the block and change some of the wording. i wish that we had the ability to strike through words and leave them there to see.

I will change the word "I begin to..." to "I CHOOSE to..."

I think this adds to the observation and makes it more accurate.
The choices are mine and I need to remember that I am the one making the choices. nobody is forcing me to go off track.

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KAB7801 7/2/2013 8:28AM

    I have the same experience as your # 2
and now I am a pretty much stay at home grandmother, but it's different this time because I am feeding her what I'm eating and she will be so much healthier with healthy habits, I hope!

I don't want to be just a mother/wife, I want to be a woman, healthy, fun and sexy!

Lose that # 2 and take care of yourself

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DIXIEMCCALL 7/2/2013 7:29AM

    You go! Take care of you. You gotta love #1 first!
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MISSUSRIVERRAT 7/2/2013 7:22AM

    I think that the kind of analysis that you did is very valuable!
Way to go!

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KITT52 7/2/2013 7:19AM

    keep trying, knowing where you have gone off track is the first step to changing those behaviors.....just never give up....small changes can add up

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EMMACORY 7/2/2013 7:17AM

    Great observations! Insight into our behaviors allows us to make better choices in the future. emoticon emoticon

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LANNIEMANUEL 7/2/2013 7:16AM

    wow that sounds alot like my life. thank you for helping me discover what i need also. emoticon

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GLUECIPHER 7/2/2013 7:10AM

    emoticon

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HAPPYGIRL511 7/2/2013 6:59AM

    Awesome discovery, something we all should keep in mind. I like "nothing worth having ever comes easy", so true, but to add to that, all the effort is so worth the ending, when You get there, and You will, We all will if we learn to stay focused. God Bless

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