Tuesday, July 02, 2013
I felt like blogging but I don't know what about.
This is my daughter Samantha when she was little. She is 16 now.
This is Sammy and Dwayne when they both were younger.
It is winter here in NZ, and has been pretty cold this winter.
This a sticker picture of Sammy and I . We like taking pictures when we go out.
Unfortunately it is hard to get Sammy to go out at the moment. Because of her anxiety. Coz I don't drive we get the buses and trains, which I love. But my darling daughter doesn't feel comfortable going out, especially on public transport. Even yesterday when we were taking the cats to the vet, Sammy wasn't going to come when Dwayne-my son said he would drop us there but might not be able to pick us up. She has to know in advance how she's getting home. I miss our little outings. Sometimes I go out myself and go and have a couple of games on the pokie machines and look around the shops. I have never felt bothered going places on my own. Apart from with the kids, I have spent a lot of my adult life on my own. And I like my own company even though it is nice to have other people around.When Dwayne(my 26 year old son) was little there were just the two of us. I had him when I was 22, and Dwayne's father and me split up before Dwayne was born. I loved him , but we were a couple who had many break ups in our relationship. And it was him that suggested we had a child, and I agreed coz I loved him. But a happy family it wasn't meant to be. We split in the January and he died in the March. He managed to get another woman pregnant in that short time. So, when Dwayne was born in the April it was a sad time coz my ex fiancee died, and happy coz my beautiful son was born. And I was the best mum I could be, in most ways I was good. I may have made some mistakes. And it's not as if I had a normal upbringing to learn from. Dwayne and I are very close. I met Samantha's father when Dwayne was 8. Poor Dwayne he found it hard having this man around when there used to be just the two of us. Sammy was three and a half when my ex husband and I broke up. I must admit, he was very easy to "get over". It probably was a blessing in disguise, coz it was like I had three kids instead of two. Plus he had major faults , and it wasn't till we split that I realised I no longer loved him. Sammy took it hard, mostly because her stupid father didn't bother to keep contact with her.That is where a lot of her emotional problems arose from. But really she is probably way better off than if we had of stayed together.
This picture is Sammy and I in 2006.