Tuesday, July 02, 2013
I'm puttering away, steady. Tempted, yes, but holding steady. Turns out it's harder for me to exercise every day than to eat right. even though I prefer exercise. But some days have constraints when I can't exercise, and I'm really happy that I'm still making steady progress anyway because I'm sticking to my eating plan.
I've been overeating for years now, so it is coming as a surprise to me how comfortable I am feeling more empty than full, not especially hungry. It is a surprise that I can't push my stomach out to artificially inflate my waist. I can't do it, because my guts don't have the extra fullness to push around. It is a surprise that I don't feel driven to eat every last calorie I'm allotted each day. It is a surprise that I can stop eating before I'm full. It is a surprise that even when I eat a light meal, I still feel a bit of extra fullness for the next hour or so, and I don't like that feeling.
These surprises give me a glimmer of hope. I'm not depriving myself. I'm not starving myself. I'm eating occasional rich treats, just fewer, in smaller measured portions. I have been able to estimate my calories; it takes some time, but it's doable and worth it. I have been able to stick to my plan even when I'm not cooking for myself. Even when I felt sick. Even when I was busy. Even when stressed. Eating with self-control is not off the table. I'm doing it, it's not unpleasant, and I CAN imagine living like this for the rest of my life. It could be a GOOD feeling.
My children, who I've been such an inconsistent example to, are taking notice. It could help them to a future of moderation too. It could. It could inspire them. They aren't bad off, now, but it could help inspire them not to take their youthful health and fitness for granted.