Monday, July 01, 2013
Ok, this is going to sound silly, but I need to deal with it, silly or not.
I'm a little bit scared of getting to my goal weight (120, that' the high end of healthy for my height) and I think I'm sabotaging myself a little bit. I'm afraid that I won't be able to GET to my goal weight. I'm also afraid I WILL get there, and that I won't be able to keep it up, and that all my hard work will be for nothing.
My weight has been a problem for me since my late teens. I never did learn how to eat well and healthily as a kid - either cause mom didn't teach me or I didn't "get" it, I don't know.
I have the usual story with my weight - I gained alot, tried to loose some, succeeded a bit, then gained it back plus some. Repeat adnauseum. I don't want this to be the same.
I'm the lowest weight I've been my entire adult life.!
But instead of being able to be happy and proud, I'm scared.
I'm also scared that my hubby won't find me attractive if & when I loose the weight, He's always gone for bigger, bustier girls. What if he doesn't find me attractive when I loose the weight? I don't know what to do about that.
This is scary. It's a journey, one that you take one day at a time. I've learned so much that will enable me to keep the weight off, just as it's helping me to loose the weight as well. The difference this time is the KNOWLEDGE. I KNOW what I'm doing; I know WHY I got as heavy as I did. I CAN do this!