A Hard Blog To Write...
Monday, July 01, 2013
Well, I am an optimist, and I hate to write anything less than that on this site. I always look at the bright side but 2013 is really testing me. My oldest son
- age 24 - has anorexia. I am still in such disbelief everytime I think about it. Anyway, he is back at his own house. He bought a dog, a Boston terrier. They are the best breed ever - look at Roxy - so, I have no problem wth that. My son's therapist in California kept suggestioning it so I guess my son decided to try. My son and his dog stay at my house a lot. Roxy is the boss and the puppy is sweet and house trained so it works out ok.
My son is still very thin. Not sure how much he weighs, but I would guess -110. He cuts his food up really small. He did start to add carbs this week (half of a potato). It is strange to watch him eat. He makes all of his food so small. I did figure out if I stay at the table a long time he eats whole serving, but it is an extra half hour. I will sit there for as long as it takes!
How am I? Not good if I went to the doctor. I have gained 10+ lbs, my blood pressure is up and I haven't run in 2 weeks. I have no motivation and quite frankly, just trying to breath. I hope none of you ever have to go through this in your lifetime. Actually, one of my close Sparkfriends has - and maintained their sense if humor - God, I hope I will and hope my son survives the way her daughter did. Anyway, I live day by day, minute by minute. I am now living at home. It is do hard working snd taking care of him, but I am doing it. I literally have no drive to run or even walk.
I am a mess! I have thought about ways to end my life to get out of the pain I have in my heart, but then I think of my family and try again to
make it all better.
I love reading how you are doing! I read all of your blogs and status updates. I look forward to the day when I can do that again!