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blew it

Monday, July 01, 2013

well it took me all of 2 days to eat something crappy after i finished the whole30. I blame 2 things.

1. I couldn't leave the stupid scale alone. I had to weigh myself the next day and it was up a pound. And of course that messed with my head even though its completely ridiculous. I dont know why I get that way. As if a binge is going to help me get to my goal any faster! But as soon as I get frustrated with how slow things are happening, I sabotage myself. I need to leave the scale alone!!

2. I let myself get way, way too hungry and I didn't have a back up plan. Sundays are always hard to navigate for us because we're out of the house most of the day. We got caught up in some other stuff and didn't plan anything for dinner and I didn't eat properly so I was STARVING and still needed to go home and make something. And then one of my friends said those horrible, evil words "Olive Garden" and it was all over.

ack. I hate myself.

That was yesterday and I still haven't made my way back. But this spiral stops tomorrow!! We went grocery shopping so I'm pretty well stocked up. I just need to prep some things to have on hand and organize the fridge... and about 100 other things. That's another part of my problem. I get overwhelmed really easily and then i just give up. But I'm going to try not to do that tomorrow and get back on track.

I can't stand how icky I feel right now. It's soooo not worth it. Plus I've had this pain in my abdomen all day so I obviously am having a reaction to something.

How do I always talk myself into these things when I always LOATHE myself and beat myself up so bad afterward?? You'd think I would learn.

Anyway, nothing to be done about it now except damage control and not go further down the spiral. Still trying (and not succeeding) to get a sleep and exercise routine established. I can't believe getting to bed by 10 pm is so difficult but it really is! I haven't been able to pull it off once.

I did manage to get in 15 minutes of a workout before my kids couldn't handle not having my attention anymore so that's better than nothing i guess.

I'm trying not to become despondent and just keep going. I was focused before, I can get focused again!
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SACHABEE 7/22/2013 10:40PM

    How are you doing now?! Better I hope. Don't hate yourself.. That's worse for you than the bad food. :)

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PAMTHER 7/9/2013 8:40PM

    Remember tootsie pop, it's a marathon, not a sprint emoticon Just get back on track and keep going emoticon

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RYDERB 7/3/2013 5:17PM

    emoticon
Hope you've pushed that bad day out of your mind. Today is a new day, and hopefully a better day.


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JITZUROE 7/3/2013 10:42AM

    Awww honey! I am so sorry. It's ok. Just moving past it, and feeling that awful Olive Garden rock in your belly already told you to get back on the whole healthy foods track today. Hey, this was a MINOR blip on the radar screen. It wasn't a binge, it wasn't a food bender, right? You were starving!
Lots of water today and good foods to heal that pain in your belly. It will all iron out soon!

Hugs,
Bren

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MOMMA2SKI 7/3/2013 12:59AM

    emoticon

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BRADMILL2922 7/2/2013 11:45PM

    Try not to beat yourself up too much! Things happen. You learn from it and move on! It was just one day!

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JCARDINAL 7/2/2013 4:02PM

    None of us are perfect, just forget this slip and get back on track. You are so worth it! emoticon

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DEBBIEDAY 7/2/2013 1:45PM

    done....time to regroup and moe on because you KNOW what works, where you got off track and know that you are worth the time it takes to be good to yourself!!!!

ARE YOU READY? The next choice is yours!!!

you CAN do it!

emoticon


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DEZZIEJAMES 7/2/2013 1:14PM

    Few things to help you out if I may, because my fellow Mama... you are so worth it!

1. Melatonin. My 5 year old used to keep our household up till 10/11p. We get up at 6:30a during the school year. She was three at the time, and I was always exhausted. As was her sister who shared a room with her. My boyfriend had just moved in with us and was always exhausted. It was bad. Her therapist convinced us to try this herbal supplement otc. I am so glad she did. We all can sleep. We only use it when she needs it. But I am so thankful for it's existence.

2. Don't hate yourself. You had a couple of bad days. EVERYONE does now and then. NO ONE is perfect. Be kind to yourself.

3. If you are planning on doing Whole30 again, check out the 10 day period at the end of it where you eat things that are "banned". Like day 1 after 30 days, have a little dairy, wait a few days, see how this affects you. Day 4, have some grains that contain gluten only - see how this affects you. Day 6, have some gluten free grains, see how this affects you. Day 9, have some legumes... see how this affects you. So you know what to have in moderation, etc.

I know you can do whatever you put your mind to. Don't ever doubt yourself!
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Comment edited on: 7/2/2013 1:23:01 PM

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SKINNIKKI 7/2/2013 11:52AM

    I am a habitual weigher when I'm trying to be proactive. I should weigh all the time though and perhaps I wouldn't backslide as much and as often. I'm in full gear now though so I am weighing morning and night. I know that's not good. But it's a track for me.

I hope you get back focused soon. It's so frustrating to lose that focus when you've been doing so good. Just seems harder and harder to get it back - for me that it is. But you can do it!!!!

Good luck

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STONECOT 7/2/2013 9:37AM

    Number one, take the batteries out of the scales! emoticon

Number two, stop hating yourself and your perceived lack of control, it isn't motivating you to succeed, so it has to go! Life happens to the best of us.

Although your weight may be important to you, it isn't the thing you should be judging yourself for. Cut yourself some slack, tell yourself that you could do better, but without condemning yourself, congratulate yourself for your self control on managing the whole 30,and start planning the next week. emoticon emoticon

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BONOLICIOUS2 7/2/2013 8:35AM

    Ack, lack of preparation is my MEGA downfall. The other night I planned on making a recipe and turned out one of the main ingredients had expired (d'oh! I should have checked!) and it led to us getting sushi/chinese. I am trying to make these situations less melt-down-like. I think you can go to Olive Garden every six months, just make sure, like today - you continue to make better choices 99% of the time and keep moving forward! You're right in saying that this shouldn't stop you in your tracks. And keep listening to your body like you're doing! Your stomach is telling you something! Today is a new day, you can make it great, I know you can!

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SCOTTK3000 7/2/2013 12:03AM

    you got this!

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ADVENTURE-GIRL 7/1/2013 11:19PM

    I know exactly how you feel. The scale is not a friend of mine. Recently, weighing myself always messes me up in the head. I think its better not to check it for a while, as long as I know I am doing what i should be doing.

As far as the binge, forgive yourself and move on quickly. Exercise is a good way to release some of the those bad feelings related to the binge. I have a hard time getting back on track when I mess up too. Remember, this is a lifestyle not a diet, you are going to eat out sometimes, don't be too hard on yourself.

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