Monday, July 01, 2013
well it took me all of 2 days to eat something crappy after i finished the whole30. I blame 2 things.
1. I couldn't leave the stupid scale alone. I had to weigh myself the next day and it was up a pound. And of course that messed with my head even though its completely ridiculous. I dont know why I get that way. As if a binge is going to help me get to my goal any faster! But as soon as I get frustrated with how slow things are happening, I sabotage myself. I need to leave the scale alone!!
2. I let myself get way, way too hungry and I didn't have a back up plan. Sundays are always hard to navigate for us because we're out of the house most of the day. We got caught up in some other stuff and didn't plan anything for dinner and I didn't eat properly so I was STARVING and still needed to go home and make something. And then one of my friends said those horrible, evil words "Olive Garden" and it was all over.
ack. I hate myself.
That was yesterday and I still haven't made my way back. But this spiral stops tomorrow!! We went grocery shopping so I'm pretty well stocked up. I just need to prep some things to have on hand and organize the fridge... and about 100 other things. That's another part of my problem. I get overwhelmed really easily and then i just give up. But I'm going to try not to do that tomorrow and get back on track.
I can't stand how icky I feel right now. It's soooo not worth it. Plus I've had this pain in my abdomen all day so I obviously am having a reaction to something.
How do I always talk myself into these things when I always LOATHE myself and beat myself up so bad afterward?? You'd think I would learn.
Anyway, nothing to be done about it now except damage control and not go further down the spiral. Still trying (and not succeeding) to get a sleep and exercise routine established. I can't believe getting to bed by 10 pm is so difficult but it really is! I haven't been able to pull it off once.
I did manage to get in 15 minutes of a workout before my kids couldn't handle not having my attention anymore so that's better than nothing i guess.
I'm trying not to become despondent and just keep going. I was focused before, I can get focused again!