A reality check
Monday, July 01, 2013
So I now have more energy and the scales are showing a weight loss of 22 kgs. Of course, I have a long way to go but I have this thing mastered. Right? WRONG!!! I have just started holidays and now realise how tenuous my hold on eating well and exercising is. I have eaten way over my calorie range and feel the pull to overeat more than ever. And you know what? I have started justifying my overeating. Things like you are on holidays so relax. What's a little more going to do?
I have succeeded so far because I have tried to embrace this program as something I have to do for the rest of my life. I am not on a diet. I can eat whatever I want as long as it is within my range and I have lots of veggies.
But I have let my guard down and started to think with a diet mentality. I have started to think I am missing out. And I have eaten more to give myself a 'treat' for comfort and reward.
On this holiday, I returned to a few places I had been previously with my ex. One activity in particular reminded me strongly of the abuse and putdowns I received from my ex due to my weight and physical limitations. But, instead of patting myself on the back with praise, I resorted to food to soothe me.
This recent behaviour frightens me. It reminds me how mindful you need to be to watch your actions and thoughts.
So my strategy? This blog has helped me clarify my thinking. I need to be more present more often and use self talk to move me through these emotions. I still logged my food so that I acknowledged my struggles but accept they are showing me where I need to work. I am also starting the Couch to 5 km jogging program a bit earlier than I had originally planned.