Sh*t show of a weekend.
Monday, July 01, 2013
WELL WELL- look who's here! Mainly just because I need to blog and get some crap off my chest. But that will be later. Let's start with what the heck i've been up to!!
Since my half marathon and 10K i've been having a great time. 2 weeks ago I began hardcore trying to lose weight and get into the lifestyle I lived in 2 years ago when kicking azz at losing weight. My boyfriend is doing it with me, and I feel like I need to be strong for him. He looks to me as leader in our health. And when people rely on my I deliver!
I have begun (as of last week) doing 2 strength training days a week at home. Ill do one day of arms and core, and a second day of legs and back. Today I am the least sore I have been in over a week! Once I have my routine down I will make a blog of the moves im using to do this. My arms were sore for about a week- NEVER happened before. I feel strong, I feel like including cardio with this is going to be like a fat burning machine!
I ran a few weeks ago and I am not sure if my runkeeper was off, BUT I ran a 10K in 27 minutes- lol WTF???! Im going to run tonight and see if that was a fluke maybe. buuut... idk. And in that run I did 4.73 miles in 46 minutes. Crazy weird! BF and I ahve been planning dinners and trying some new things. I am SO SO happy that he's learning to enjoy onions and peppers- it opens the meal planning WAY up. I've done great at work not eating anything I didn't bring. last wed I had one small cookie and a piece of super healthy oat bake. Plus i've been working veggies and fruits into every day. Fruits are my new snacks at work- woot. And veggies are missed when not in what Im eating.
In terms of weighing.... I'm not. It really messes with my head and motivation. Even if it's good! I am going by body size. I have a pair of size 14 jeans that have become my new goal jeans. I will weight when I can button them- and I have 2 inches until that point. I'll just check every week. Im not letting that ONEderland mess me up. I have no idea what I weight right now- at the gym with everything on, water in me, sore as ever and my ipod on I was 206. So maybe once I'm below 200 on that scale i'll check it out the normal way. This is long term- I want to be below 170 by the mid/end of October. that's about 30lbs. I just have to keep plugging away.
I need to allow myself to relax in front of the TV without feeling guilty i'm not working out or painting or scrap-booking or doing anything else I enjoy doing. I, allowing myself to unwind from work and the gym, I am resting and relaxing. It's okay to enjoy the TV Danielle!! haha. Oh stress sucks.
_______ (the ugly park of my blog)
Stuff was going well. Actually it's not that bad right now. But does anyone else have that weird thing in your life where when one thing finally starts going well, another part of your life starts going to sh*t? I swear it's like the impossible dilemma. My boyfriend and best friend don't or haven't gotten on well together. I think its just a massive personality conflict, partially my fault for keeping them apart in the beginning. SO this weekend I attended a wedding of someone I onlu recently made up with after 2 years of... awkward guilt by me and some other friends. So i was going to be slightly uncomfortable anyway. The wedding was a huge expensive ordeal. I only attended the reception, but the reception was open bar up in Lambeau Field 3rd floor. It was so beautiful.
I was feeling a little awkward being there so i started off with some wine. I was only going to drink a few throughout the night. Well that turned into bottomless Summer Shandy and well, drunk. Boyfriend also took advantage and let himself have fun.
Long story short- the night ended at the wedding party's hotel with my best friend pissed, leaving without a word and my and boyfriend yelling at each other in the parking lot and me knocking his glass to the ground- shattering everywhere. Basically he insulted my BFF while trying to understand why they just don't get along. He overstepped and pushed a little too hard, making her snap. Sunday was just a terrible day for me and him. Ive never fought with anyone that fiercely and definitely never thought me and BF could argue that immaturely or passionately.
SH*T SHOW. Things will heal, i'm hopeful. Since him and I have been together my friendship with my BFF has been a big frustration. He's not comfortable around her and she doesn't make the best effort to get to know him. It always hard to plan things where we all hang out- so i usually try to make them out at a bar or doing something. Maybe it just needs to be the 3 of us hanging out playing video/board games. Get to know each other in a quiet place where the focus can be on conversation instead of partying.
I'm in the middle of it and it really sucks- I had situations where I can't help.
For a few days lately I have felt that life is perfect. I felt I was making everyone happy around me, I was fulfilled, i was working hard and learning at my job, I had been working out and eating right, I wasn't bored or sad or anxious. All was well.
And aside from this, all pretty much is well still. Im so frustrated and sad things are like this.