Monday, July 01, 2013
Well. I'm not doing so well with this journaling thing! What a surprise.
I'm in the throes of yet another "lesson" from my body. We found ourselves out and about yesterday at around lunchtime...in a grocery, of all things. There was a Subway in there. There's a recipe for destruction if I ever heard one. Fresh baking bread. This one also makes little pizzas. And I've always LOVED their seafood subs. So my options were: 1) eat Subway; 2) don't eat Subway, and instead buy every tempting thing in the store to take home; or 3) don't eat anything or buy things off-the-list and just eat decent food when I get home. Naturally, you can easily construe where those choices went.
Well. At least I told them to pull out most of the bready insides of the roll. But then Joe tempted me with a cookie (and I was already broken down on the temptation thing), so I more than defeated my purpose in taking out the plain bread by replacing it with yet more carbs AND sugar. -sigh- Well. It tasted pretty good. I managed to scavenge out most of the insides and still left a bunch of the bread behind. Made for messy eating, but WTH.
Then, at dinnertime, I ate a salad. Usually this might be considered proper eating. For me, many veggies and especially anything you'd call "roughage" are touchy things. After my "fall" at lunchtime, it turned out to be too much for dinner. I tried a new dressing too, which didn't feel right even going down...it was Walmart's brand of Ranch, and it was a lot more peppery than the Ranch brands I usually eat. Not only that, I love the dill in Ranch, and (so far as I could tell) there wasn't any in this. Well, I had it, and I wasn't going to throw it out (whose blog did I read not long ago about not treating your body like a garbage disposer?). I'm thinking now it's going to go in a non-biological disposer (ie - not me!).
So now I'm in education mode. Again. I spent the night in mild GI malaise, and sometime before dawn that progressed into my typical - Sorry: TMI alert! - fermentation and gas production routine. This morning I don't even want to put liquid...even water, in there. My gut seems to have relented, but I can feel things lurking around there, just waiting for my next indiscretion. This would be a relatively minor, if irritating, situation...except that I need to get my megaload of meds and supplements down, and my body is warning me in no uncertain terms, "this is a fast day!" So we'll see what transpires later on.
I posted a response to someone's blog in the last day or so about the current state of dietary health in this country. I guess I got on my soapbox; I tend to do that, alas. I also visited some blogs and threads from other Sparkers about why their plan isn't performing as desired; some of them quoting (again) the failed weight-loss and "healthy" recommendations we still get. It was pretty depressing. Yes, I fall off my own wagon (as described above!). But at least I know I've done it, I know it WHEN I'm doing it, and I understand the correct way to be doing things. It's not ignorance - it's just my dropping the ball of responsibility. Maybe that's worse, I don't know.
I wish I had better speaking skills; I wish I had magnetic charisma; I wish I could find the way to reach people who are struggling this way. It really wrecks my outlook. It's bad enough to be faced with it from people I don't know, or only know distantly. It's SO much more stressful to see it in people I care for or love, friends and especially family. I try very hard not to get pushy or strident about it. I know that's counterproductive. People like that come off as fanatics. I don't know. Maybe I'm a fanatic! ?!? If so, I have no desire to reduce the tendency. I want them to take it seriously, but I don't want to drive anyone away from the facts just because I'm so eager to have them "see the light." But you can't enlighten those who fear it. Change is scary to so many.... stagnation is scarier, IMO. Especially when you have evidence of its detriments. Oh well.
On a positive note: I've whipped myself into some semblance of shape with my CE course. I finished one. I'm about 2/3 through the last one. Of course, the deadline is the 7th. Nothing like last-minute crushes! I'm thinking I'm actually going to make this deadline, though... and not have to throw myself upon the instructor's mercy at the 11th hour to accept my final posts. Hopefully. That's what I need to be doing now: finishing up some of my remaining 6 assignments. If I'm a "good girl," I'll plow through that one-per-day and make it. IF the instructor doesn't request followup! luck to me on that one.
Hope everyone has a beautiful day. It's looking like rain here (well, it's Florida!), which is wonderful: we need the water. The world breathes deep in the rain. And it keeps me inside, doing things I NEED to be doing, instead of being out gallivanting about squandering my resources. lol