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    BOBCATGIRL76   31,207
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Day 578- When the Heck Did I Become Comfortable with my Body?


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Monday, July 01, 2013

This is actually a positive post.

I don't mean comfortable as in "letting myself go."

I mean comfortable as in...two piece bathing suit.

I first started realizing this yesterday when I decided to soak up some rays on my new back porch. Last weekend, I moved houses for hopefully the last time while I'm in Athens. We're now in a cute little two bedroom, two bath about 5 miles outside campus, with an apple tree and grape arbor in the back yard, out in the middle of nowhere.

Anyways, I got into my bag of bathing suits...yes I have a bag of bathing suits, and started trying a few on, and a lot were WAY too big for me. Good for my self-esteem, but not so good for my wallet.

Luckily, last year, I'd bought a two piece that I rarely wore because I was still over 200 pounds and very conscious of the stretch marks and extra skin that would be exposed if I wore it.

Well yesterday, when I put it on, I looked in the mirror and...*gasp*...I was okay with what I saw. I wasn't ashamed or upset. I just thought, yep, this is how I look. I'm not going to be competing in any Miss America pageants anytime soon. But I was comfortable enough that I could actually wear the suit in public, not just on my back porch.

I realize that stretch marks and extra skin are like battle scars for me. Its who I used to be, and they're not going away so I just have to accept them and realize how much healthier I am now.

My second moment of shock was last night at my first soccer game of the seasons. It was cool out when I left, so I was wearing a long sleeve tee and shorts. I play goalie, so it makes sense that I wear long sleeves. Well, there are other people who play goalie too, so I ended up playing on the field for a bit and running warmed me up quite fast.

In my second out of body experience, during our water break, I took off my shirt, was standing in a sports bra and put a mesh penny on for the rest of the time I played.

I could never have done this a year ago. I would have thought about all the eyes looking at my fat while my shirt was off, and wondering if people were watching me jiggle through my mesh. Last night, all I cared about was playing the game that I love.


These are two huge victories for me. I know I will be able to improve my body more when I lose more weight and start doing toning and tightening exercises, but for now, being OKAY with who I am and what I look like is the greatest feeling in the world.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
ALIDOSHA 7/18/2013 4:36PM

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CLPURNELL 7/9/2013 10:08PM

    That is awesome!!!!

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SANDYLH1 7/9/2013 9:02AM

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SHERYLP461 7/9/2013 6:30AM

    You are awesome, way to go!

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CUDDLYPOLARBEAR 7/9/2013 6:28AM

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LOUTOKALAU 7/7/2013 3:52PM

  awesome!

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CFMOSS 7/6/2013 7:07AM

    Wonderful....wonderful....wonderful
.

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PRINCESSLSH 7/5/2013 4:48PM

    I'm definitely impressed. Congratulations.

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KAREN_NY 7/5/2013 11:10AM

    F A N T A S T I C !!!!!
Confidence is so gorgeous!!!
Glad to hear you're feeling so good, and congrats!!


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IMAGINE46 7/5/2013 9:32AM

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WATERDIAMONDS 7/5/2013 7:12AM

    How wonderful for you! And how lucky for us that you are willing to share such an inspiring blog.

Thank you.

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TDEMAIO2 7/5/2013 7:04AM

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METTATEACH 7/5/2013 3:23AM

    Wonderful post! Be happy, be healthy, be you! emoticon

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SCRAPBECCA 7/4/2013 11:12PM

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SARRARAZ 7/4/2013 8:57PM

  great

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HEALTHYSLIM2 7/4/2013 6:19PM

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KAB7801 7/4/2013 6:13PM

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BARBARASDIET 7/4/2013 3:32PM

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MRSRIGS1 7/4/2013 12:21PM

    I'm so HAPPY for you! Thank you for sharing your 'a-ha' moment with us! emoticon

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STEVIEBEE569 7/4/2013 12:16PM

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BLPRETTYGIRL1 7/4/2013 11:54AM

    Feel good, huh ?

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KHALIA2 7/4/2013 11:31AM

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KNYAGENYA 7/4/2013 10:54AM

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BONNYSPARKGIRL 7/4/2013 9:53AM

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BONNYSPARKGIRL 7/4/2013 9:52AM

    What an inspiration you are. Wish I had found your blogs earlier. Got a lot of reading to to. Way to go emoticon

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DELLMEL 7/4/2013 9:30AM

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GOING-STRONG 7/4/2013 9:25AM

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LCRUMLEY81 7/4/2013 9:21AM

  great post

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SIZE8NOTSOMUCH 7/4/2013 9:12AM

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Good for you!!!!!
J


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LUV2RUN72 7/4/2013 8:59AM

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BOSSONBABE 7/4/2013 8:26AM

    You go girl!!!! Yay for you. emoticon

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LISA_FRAME 7/4/2013 8:17AM

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NELLJONES 7/4/2013 8:15AM

    Wear that two piece while you can! When you are older, no matter how thin you are, a bikini just looks silly with an old lady's skin. My kids and grandkids have told me in no uncertain terms that I need to be more covered up, just on general principles. You have control over your shape but not your age.

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MRSB929 7/4/2013 8:06AM

    Yay! I am so happy for you! One of the things I struggle with most right now is the fact that I am so unhappy with my body that it is ALL I can think about ALL the time. I cannot wait to get to a point where I can actually accept myself instead of thinking about what other people think about me all the time. And a know a part of accepting myself isnt just losing weight. I know I have some work to do mentally and emotionally as well.

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MISSILENE 7/4/2013 7:59AM

    Take care and love yourself.

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CATE195 7/4/2013 7:45AM

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CHERYLHURT 7/4/2013 6:30AM

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MARYJEANSL 7/4/2013 1:53AM

  It's always great to be OK with who you are.

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ILOVEFOOD590 7/4/2013 12:45AM

    You rock! What more can be said!? :)

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ROXYCARIN 7/4/2013 12:37AM

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LIVELYLULU37 7/3/2013 10:59PM

    I hope I can feel good in my own skin too! Congratulations!!

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NIKKILOULOU22 7/3/2013 10:51PM

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Comment edited on: 7/3/2013 10:52:26 PM

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PARKERJEAN 7/3/2013 8:01PM

    I LOVED this blog! It lets us see who you are so good! Great Job!

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EMILY0724 7/3/2013 7:46PM

    Yeah for YOU!!! emoticon

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KINDCRUELTY 7/3/2013 7:25PM

  That is so amazing! Many women/girls don't get to that point no matter what their weight/size/appearance/shape/etc. It's great to see someone who has. Congrats :D

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WOOFERCOALBOY 7/3/2013 7:22PM

    I am most impressed! emoticon

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JINXIFER 7/3/2013 6:55PM

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