Monday, July 01, 2013
It's the first of a new month. I've taken a little bit of time off from here so I could get my brain back n gear. NS was a good experience in some ways - but reinforces what i know about my body and how it deals with carbs and processed foods. It's unfortunate that it took me stressing myself out to recognize the affects. I've had lots of experiences in the past month that have brought me back to a tracking/blogging point. Perhaps the biggest was the realization that I'm not on a diet. I can't go back to eating all those foods that got me here - ever. As in ever-ever. I don't have that option anymore. I have to build a whole new relationship with food. Funny part is - I'm okay with that.
The difference is I'm not deluding myself into thinking I'm going to lose my love of bad food. Accepting that I'm never not going to love pizza or chicken biscuits. Or give up my love cheese and coke zero and chips - it's okay. The difference is I'm being more honest about how those foods make me feel and look. I'm no longer waiting to hit a magic number to appear on my scale to tell me it's okay to have a cheat day or that will give me permission to add those back. I don't want those back.
Consistency has always been a huge thing with me. I'm gung ho in the beginning. I'm motivated and committed, and then life steps in. My schedule gets hectic, I travel for work, kids have stuff that puts me in the car at meal times. Having good intentions isn't enough - so I've enlisted help from my kids, made a new routine that pushes me to pack my foods every single day no matter where or what I'm doing. People laugh when they see my cooler in my car - but I do not have to worry or wonder what I'm going to eat!