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    RUBYREDIVY1   9,368
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Lost Focus Completely

Sunday, June 30, 2013

By Focus I mean what I'm supposed to be doing.


Am I supposed to be maintaining? Should I gain some weight? Maybe a couple of pounds? Just to get my booty and curves back? DH is NOT Happy 1 month into maintenance and it's reflecting in our daily life.

Now I feel the need to gain. I've gained some already - very carefully and planned - 0.7kg up from last week.

Still not comfortable with all this. But what's the point if my other half isn't attracted to the new me? I mean, I don't mind being a bit heavier if it makes things spicy again between us.

But I'm now lost as to what the goal weight should be.

Even after the gain, I've heard him say that he doesn't see any difference. At this rate I will probably gain at least 2kgs before he sees a difference. I've already gained around an inch top and bottom and also the waist.

I'm a size 12, verging on 14 now. Just verging.

But it's not just that, I'm also getting cravings for bad things and with all this uncertainty I'm feeling less and less determined to keep tracking and being accountable.

On the good side, my portions are still the same, and I can't eat a lot of food, whether it's healthy or not.

I'm just a bit lost - before I was uncertain myself, if I'm liking this new flatter figure, and now he's come out and said it himself so I'm feeling even more uncertain.

*sighs* I don't know what to do.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CAMAEL100 7/1/2013 10:55AM

    I agree with all the first two posters have said. My concern would be that you could gain 4kg and he still wouldn't notice and then what? Gaining can be a slippery slope. As you say you are beginning to get more relaxed and while it can be easy to gain 4kg, remember how hard it is to lose it!

Maybe your DH just needs some time to adjust to your new figure. It is hard to see how a couple of pounds either way should make such a difference.

Have a heart to heart with him and see if this is really the problem or that he worries you are getting too hot and could be noticed by others. That would be a subconscious fear of losing you. You are probably more confident as well now that you are at your goal.


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MJREIMERS 6/30/2013 8:21PM

    My husband has made comments that "I'm wasting away," but he sees how happy it's made me so he's ok with the new me. I've toned up more this spring and that was a little rough as I lost butt and breast. At my age everything is going south anyway, but losing weight didn't help.

I lost weight for me, no one else! I guess you need to decide. It's really not up to anyone else, including your husband, but you need to decide what will make you happy. Have you had a heart to heart with him?

Sometimes, men are intimidated when their partner loses weight. They worry that she'll find someone else and are jealous when others give her attention. (Although, attention by others also makes them secretly happy that they choose such a "hot" woman!)

Hang in there. The decision is ultimately yours to make.

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EDENFELL 6/30/2013 7:45PM

    OMG..okay..please don't gain weight for your other half..you need to be at a healthy weight for you that makes you happy, not a weight that makes your other half happy. Your body and health are yours and yours alone and you are responsible only to yourself. Okay, rant over.. emoticon But please keep in mind that it is hard work to lose weight and there is no perfect number..If you have excess fat on you that is probably not healthy even if your other half thinks its appealing..listen to yourself on this one..you'll know your own right number which has nothing to do with other people in your life..

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