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    GODDESSHIPS   16,548
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An Aversion to Skinny

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Sunday, June 30, 2013

I was put in a funk yesterday.
I shared a photo of the cute new top I made by folding and tucking an old shirt, I was so proud of myself, on facebook and a friend of mine commented, " You look skinny. emoticon "
And, of course, it rubbed me the wrong way.
I wasn't like raging mad or anything, but it bugged me.
I wasn't going for that reaction, I was showing off my shirt. But later that day, as my step son was sharing some silly you tube crap with me and his dad I was reminded of the girl (you know the one) who posts photos of herself on social media because she wants the compliments. I wasn't fishing. But for whatever reason, someone commenting on my appearance made me feel like I was fishing. I didn't like it. And I don't like the term skinny to describe me.
Mostly because it sounds generic. And because it is a truly poor word to describe my shape. I am not skinny. I have never been skinny. I will never be skinny. I'm okay with that. But when people use that word to describe me I feel like I am being put on, patronized in a way. I get that so many women would love to be called skinny. I am not one of them. It sends me on a roller coaster of paranoid uncertainty about how confident I am in my skin. Crazy. I know.


I wrote a blog yesterday about size, sort of about size....it was more of a start to my downward spiral from the kind words of my friend.

I suppose it could have come off as harsh. Sometimes I write things and I don't make it sound so nice. I wonder if people may think I am being anti fat or something.
It isn't that. Really. But I do think we need to talk more about the truth of being fat, the truth of how time has twisted our culture to give us seriously effed up ideas of body image. What is healthy? What isn't? What should a normal healthy body with a few extra pounds look like, or measure in at? It is going to be slightly different for everyone, right? Can we be real and still be kind to our selves?

We have to embrace and do our best with our body types. Some of us are skinny. Some of us are curvy. Some of us are shaped like boxes or sticks.
I will never have a tremendous thigh gap, or hips that are not ten inches larger than my waist. I will never have large breasts. I will always have a large rib cage and broad shoulders....it gives me the illusion of an hourglass at least. I will never have long legs. Having larger boobs and bottom doesn't automatically make one curvy. Just as not being overweight makes one skinny. I could go on and on, right, about how differently we are all shaped. I posted a blog showing a photo of how differently the same weight can appear on different bodies.
And yet......
it is ingrained in us. To judge each other and ourselves based on what we look like.

I feel like I've worked so hard for so long to get away from that. It irritates me when a simple compliment can bring all that ridiculousness back into my head for even a moment.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JINXIFER 7/3/2013 6:53PM

    Congratulations - on making a cute top!

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TERRIH8118 7/3/2013 11:41AM

    emoticon I'm also one that will never be skinny, even when I'm at my ideal weight, I've never been skinny.

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ROXYCARIN 7/2/2013 11:00PM

  emoticon

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PATTISWIMMER 7/2/2013 10:10PM

    someone thinks I am skinny... no I say I am overweight but proud no longer obese and on my way to normal... another 10 pounds.... someday... yet I am in the 37 percentile meaning 63 percent of all women my height weigh more than me but I am still overweight. emoticon

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OJIBWEEQUAY 7/2/2013 6:57PM

    being shaped as a box sucks! ha!

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JMPI59 7/2/2013 8:40AM

  I get it.

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DSPURLOCK4569 7/2/2013 5:38AM

    I agree with you totally on how we should accept how we look because we all have different body styles. My mother was 5'2, as is my daughter, I am 5'6. My daughter and I as shaped the same way, what we call short wasted or curvy, hour glass type of shape. My mom and my sister (5'3) are long wasted meaning they really did not have a waist. Clothes fit really different on my sister, mother and I, shirts, pants, everything. All because of the differences of our body styles other thing is that being taller than both my mother and sister I could carry more weight without looking as heavy as they did because I had a larger frame to spread the weight around on. I am in the process now of loosing weight that when I was able to work had no trouble keeping off, sucks getting old and being injured permanently on the job, but life throws things at you and you have to adapt and over come, like our body types and heights. We are born with what we have, we have to accept that, love yourself image and forget what others try to tell us (of course that is always easier said than done - this is coming from a woman who is on a life style change do to her husband standing on a scale saying "Ah 160!" Knowing I was standing a few feet away, knowing I was over 160 at that time. Yep easier to give advice than to take it! LOL hope you do not take offense because believe me none is meant, I always mean well and should take my own advice I would be much better off!

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DSPURLOCK4569 7/2/2013 5:35AM

    I agree with you totally on how we should accept how we look because we all have different body styles. My mother was 5'2, as is my daughter, I am 5'6. My daughter and I as shaped the same way, what we call short wasted or curvy, hour glass type of shape. My mom and my sister (5'3) are long wasted meaning they really did not have a waist. Clothes fit really different on my sister, mother and I, shirts, pants, everything. All because of the differences of our body styles other thing is that being taller than both my mother and sister I could carry more weight without looking as heavy as they did because I had a larger frame to spread the weight around on. I am in the process now of loosing weight that when I was able to work had no trouble keeping off, sucks getting old and being injured permanently on the job, but life throws things at you and you have to adapt and over come, like our body types and heights. We are born with what we have, we have to accept that, love yourself image and forget what others try to tell us (of course that is always easier said than done - this is coming from a woman who is on a life style change do to her husband standing on a scale saying "Ah 160!" Knowing I was standing a few feet away, knowing I was over 160 at that time. Yep easier to give advice than to take it! LOL hope you do not take offense because believe me none is meant, I always mean well and should take my own advice I would be much better off!

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FIRECOM 7/1/2013 1:10PM

    I haven't been skinny since the 8th grade but recently my cardio was looking for the best place to insert my new pacemaker and he commented ...Your are a skinny, skinny man.

I was elated.

As how others feel about me, its none of my business so I just ignore it. Being stupid is not against the law. -- yet.

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61INCHGAL 6/30/2013 4:24PM

    Wow - I seriously thought I was the only soul on the planet who hated the word skinny.

I do not want to be skinny ever. Sounds like skin to me, a short jump to ' skin and bone '.

I want to stay curvy and voluptuous just not obese.

So definitely hear you.

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EDENFELL 6/30/2013 4:08PM

    It's funny how certain things can be triggers. I agree - we need to accept ourselves and be happy with ourselves as we are and then focus on just having a healthy lifestyle. Great, thoughtful blog. emoticon emoticon

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LAGUNAMAMA 6/30/2013 3:49PM

    you're so right, this kind of fb comment has always bothered me too, and I haven't exactly pinpointed why until you said it- it feels like the poster of the pic is 'fishing' for compliments and the commenters of the pic are patronising or 'putting on' the poster of the pic. why is 'you look skinny!' supposed to be the ultimate compliment? there are so many other things I'd rather hear- beautiful, happy, radiant, etc. that have nothing to do with how that particular pose, that particular outfit on that particular day made me look heavier or thinner. well done sister, for working that one out!

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