Sunday, June 30, 2013
Well, I'm back. I stopped coming to the site about three months ago. My intentions were good but the result was a complete disaster! I was becoming obsessed with logging everything in and whether or not I was getting all nutrients (vitamins, minerals protein etc.). Also I was stressing over where my food came from and how it was raised (had to be organic, grass fed and pastured, non-GMO, wild caught alaskan and so forth). I was so consumed with all of this that I felt it was (no, I know it was) interfering with my relationship with God. It was becoming an idol in my life. So, I decided to "break" my obsession. The results...? I gained back 20 of the 25 pounds I lost, my acid reflux is back and I have developed an irregular heartbeat.
So, I'm back. Gonna try to do this without being so rigid. And most of all, learn to trust God to help me with this; I obviously cannot do it alone. I am the oldest of four children, have always been a loner and a perfectionist. My father was an alcoholic who always told me I was worthless and would never amount to anything (I have forgiven him, unfortunately it wasn't until he passed away nearly 20 years ago). As you can see, I am my own worst enemy!
My goals now? 1) Learn to see myself through God's eyes...I am not worthless.
2) Don't be so rigid with myself...I am NOT perfect, I will slip now and then.
3) Don't be such a loner, join the community...you all are trying to live a
better, healthier life, just like I am.
I'm beginning to see my problem isn't so much food as it is how I view myself. That's where it begins. Thanks for listening, :)