Saturday, June 29, 2013
No, it's not my age. It's not my abilities.
It's my children's age and abilities. My kids are hitting that age. I have 11 year old twins. My daughter is starting to show her changes, but handles everything quite well. She loves her daddy and we get along very well. Her level of literacy is about 3 years ahead and has almost no difficulties with advanced school studies. The interaction she has with her friends is rich and she overcomes those cross childhood difficulties with just a little parental advice.
Now my son. Here is where most of the hardship begins. He is very gifted and extremely smart. He's one of those kids that solves math without having seen it before, assembles and formats computers, and lives with no limitations. Sounds great, RIGHT! Well now mix in lying, sneaking, candy, taking money, and the challenge of outsmarting his parents. So now comes the point of what to do. This is a huge ongoing story, with a lot of missed steps along the way.
What does daddy do next. Everyone want their kids to do better than themselves. I went from scoring in the 98% for a national test issued only to chemistry majors in college to becoming a bartender. (story in itself). Now I have to reflect back into my own past, find all the wrong and mistakes, and project them into my sons future. Then figure out how to teach him now the good choices I should have made. All this with letting him succeed and fail at his own will. Successes are congratulated and failures are treating like a learning curve and never viewed as a "Fail".
The immediate mountain is a united parental idea system. This does not exist. We have done the marriage therapy, then child therapy, a therapy class for boys with relationship bonding difficulties (that's and interesting class), now a mix of child/family relationship skills. Soon the "parents" will be attending a parenting class dealing mostly with teaching your children, issuing consequences, and not using one parent as a lever of discipline.
And there you have it. The reason I'm reflecting.
BTW- My first reflection was that I'm being a good person and a good father. I know who I am, what I'm doing, and why. I also believe that success will be the outcome