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    MILKMANSWIFE   847
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Day 1

Saturday, June 29, 2013

Good Morning! emoticon It IS still morning isn't it?? Let me look....yep 10:53 AM...still morning. Today is DAY 1-again. Off to a good start so far even though breakfast was eaten a bit later than I had planned. I even logged what I ate.

A bit of history on me: They last 2-3 years haven't been that great. Actually, the last 10 haven't been. We bought a house and then I lost my job just before Christmas 10 years ago (for speaking out against improper water testing). Things have been on a downward spiral ever since with the last 2-3 years being the worst. Due to extreme menorrhagia (lasting 3-6 months NONSTOP), I had to have 2 blood transfusions. I basically lost about 1/2 of my total blood supply. Having no health insurance, I tried everything I could to 'fix' myself but in the end was so anemic I could take only a few steps before having to stop and rest. During the last bout with it, I lost my beloved Grandmother. The guilt of having placed her into a nursing home continues to haunt me to this day. In my defense, I kept her with me at home until her health got to a point where I felt I was no longer qualified handling alone. Yes, alone, as nobody else in my family would step in and help me out. She raised me, made personal sacrifices for me so I could have what I needed; maybe not what I wanted but I had what I needed. I hurt her terribly when I reached those 'all-knowing' teen years. I ran away from home and stayed with other family for a year. At least 1 positive thing happened during that year-I met my husband. emoticon. Fortunately, my senses returned and I went back home, finished high school, and got married. When she died, I was beyond lost. I became very depressed. Things have not been easy for my husband and daughter. Thankfully, they have never given up on me. 2 years ago I was diagnosed with hyperthyroidism. I only found out about it last summer. No, the doctor didn't tell me. I saw it when reading through some of the paperwork he gave me during my visit last summer. I asked him about that and his response was "I wasn't seeing you then; I have no idea why the other doctor didn't tell you". (It's a large practice with several doctors). 2 years later I have switched doctors and found a great specialist whom I hope can help me get it under control. She did increase my meds from 1 to 2 tablets a day since things hadn't improved after a month on the lower dose. Now she says I'm 'pre-diabetic'. emoticon She's put me on meds for that so I don't get worse. I'm not pleased with that as she says 'it's well maintained with my diet'. I hate pills. Taking one to keep the condition from going 'full blown' is unnecessary to me. It's like taking something for a headache before you even get one. Still, I will take it like she says. However, I'm getting off it ASAP! Losing weight will help speed that along. emoticon I will cut back on sweets and breads and potatoes. emoticon Sweets aren't that big a problem-it's that bread and taters that's the problem. LOL Anyway, I think that's enough for the moment. Got some work to do here in the house. I'll probably add a bit more later on today.
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ONLYTEMPORARY 6/29/2013 5:09PM

    emoticon you did your best for your grandmother and she probably knew it and didn't love you any less. Hang in there and take this 1 step at a time. 1 small goal at a time. Reachable goals not sky high ones that set you up for failure then you will succeed. Baby steps emoticon emoticon

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