Saturday, June 29, 2013
Yesterday I realized that I was looking forward to going to our local pool today.
I haven't looked forward to that in almost two years... because of the bathing suit factor. I was a competitive swimmer for 18 years; bathing suits were never an issue. As I grew older (and wider) it's become a self-conscious overload to the point that I dreaded the great bathing suit. Once I was out it wasn't a big deal, but the act of removing my cover-up, exposing what I wasn't even sure was (or wasn't) there could ruin the first hour outdoors. I still don't think I have the beach body from the days of old, but I do think my physical strength is transcending into emotional strength and so I am enjoying more of myself and the things I do.
So I was scrolling through my DH's facebook (I don't have one) and found an example of my progress. It's a little delayed and I'll try to get an actual 6 month photo in the near future since that day arrives Tuesday.
The first was June 2012. We were at a wedding and I had A LOT of wine, which means we were dancing. Not looking at the camera tells you how much I didn't want the photographer to take this, but the persistent little you-know-what took it anyway:
The second is April 2013. We are at a beach clean up. There is no liquor or coercion to pose. I just grabbed my DH and smiled. We actuall have water packs on and garbage hanging in front of us, but I look happier and more confident than at a lavish wedding:
Telling, no? This is really an extension of yesterday's blog. It's just I have done this weight loss thing a few times - and it's also been a significant amount of weight lost/gained - but I have never been able to see the direct correlation between how I feel internally and my health. I mean, I couldn't wait to leave the wedding in the first picture and hop into my pajamas, but am perfectly satisfied walking up and down the beach all day picking up rusty wire, plastic straws, and (believe it or not) condoms. I'm beginning to understand the value in nutrition and consequently gain an appreciation for the impending maintenance, something I've never been able to successfully do.