Friday, June 28, 2013
The weekend is starting off with a bang. My 9 & 10 year old grandkids are here to stay for 2 weeks. They were at the house with my hubby by the time I got home from work. I was expecting them to be here, so I mentally prepared myself for seeing them. I even wrote a list of things to do with them. One thing is that I want to take picnic and a frisbee, balls and gloves and maybe a kickball to a park. I was tickled when my grandson said he brought his own glove and a ball! I'm really excited about that.
I don't do well when I don't have my space or my quiet. I am a little anxious about them being here that long. I want time to myself for working out. I know they are old enough to occupy themselves long enough for me to get a workout in, but I won't take off and get a walk with them here. Sure, I might be able to get them to walk around the block with me, but it wouldn't be a quick pace. Anyway, a 15 minute walk won't cut it! On two or three days each week I will be going to work, and my hubby will stay home with them. On those days I could probably see if he minds for me to go out and get a long walk in the morning before work. I have my own equipment at home, and don't go to a gym, so at least I can squeeze in some workout time upstairs while the kids read. They love to read so that's a great thing.
My main worries are that 1-I won't get enough workouts in, (won't burn enough calories) and 2-I will eat too much. (I notoriously eat more when I get anxious.)
Though I certainly have begun to feel more confident around my grandkids. The anxiety comes in when I don't have time to myself. I raised 4 kids; I know how little time I had to myself, so I'm not too hopeful that I'll get that me time.
But I love them to pieces and see this as an opportunity to get to know them better. We only see each other once every month or two. We have a good foundation; my daughter and the kids lived with us for 2 years when they were preschoolers.
I also feel more confident that I won't
After I wrote that last line (I was going to end it with the words "binge while they are here"), the kids asked me for a snack. I offered different things. Then I remembered some special cheese I brought back from Wisconsin a few months ago, and offered them cheese and crackers. I've been saving it for a special occasion, seeing it in my cheese drawer often, knowing that the day I open it I'll have a hard time resisting it. I'm sharing it so I won't eat it all. I had some with them and though I went 200 calories over my limit of calories for the day, I didn't all out binge. I can feel good about that!
I feel less anxiety about binge eating since I wrote my blog about my ah ha moment. I've upped my calories a little for each day, and will see how that goes. In the long run, a few more calories each day would never amount to the extreme amount I could shovel in over 2 or 3 binge days per week. By allowing a few extra per day, I don't feel the deprivation and I am not getting that hollow hungry feeling from restricting food and exercising too much.