I am a little upset... I just had written out a long blog post and my page closed before I could post it! It went something like this:
A lot of life changes have taken place over the last month! I moved to a new city. I started two new jobs. I am looking for a 3rd and I have applied to go back to school in the fall. My weeks have been busy and hectic. The place I moved to has no internet access and I didn't quite realize how important journaling my food and staying plugged in with my spark groups and spark community. It has proven to make a world of a difference.
Over the past month I have "Fallen off the band wagon" for lack of better terms. I stopped tracking my food and the portions because I thought I had a good grasp on it. I worked out only for a few days because I stopped due to my schedule and small injuries or sicknesses. I finally get why people have told me "sickness happens and so do injuries- heal but keep going when you can!" I soon was sneaking sweets and indulging in chips. Not that these things are bad but the quantity was uncalled for. I was not plugged in to a support system.
My motivation and conviction for losing the weight and reaching my goal has renewed itself. I have not only regained a desire but the confidence that I can indeed do this! I can lose the weight! I can reach my goal! I can get healthy! And it doesn't have to be by tomorrow. Or by December. I WILL reach my goal weight of 135lbs if it takes me 10 months or if it takes me 2 years. I just need to keep going! I need the encouragement and support of my friends at home and especially from you guys! But I need the encouragement of myself! I have noticed that my Self-Talk has changed over the course of my journey! I give myself pep talks! I remind myself that I am WORTH the fight and the work of reaching my goal weight! I am WORTH the effort of retraining myself the foods to eat! I am WORTH the effort of working out and reaching a healthy size! I AM WORTH IT and no one else is going to do it for me! I genuinely say these things out loud to myself... I try to make sure I am alone if I can help it... no need to look like a loon!
Something I heave learned from the Direct Marketing Company I work with (and love) is that if your "WHY" isn't enough to make you cry... find a new reason.
So in case I have never clarified my reasons for losing 127lbs here they are (in no specific order!)
-To love the Lord my God with all my heart, soul, mind and STRENGTH!
-To be able to live out my calling with a long healthy and fit life!
-To prevent diabetes, cancer and heart disease that my family is predisposed to developing.
-To keep up with my friends who tend to hold back on a lot of physical activity so as to not leave me behind (Sweet of them but NO MORE).
-To have healthy pregnancies when the time comes!
-To enjoy the outdoors!
-To raise my kids in an active and healthy household. This is something I never had as a child. I had no idea what it was like to not eat 10 cookies and brownie for dinner and to exercise. It wasn't encouraged.
-To live my life and live it to the fullest!
-To not be ashamed of Physical Activity
-To be proud of myself for finally doing something for me!
-To prove to myself that I. Am. Worth. It.
I have learned in my journey so far that success looks like this:
If the desire to lose the weight is genuine and truly for YOU then it was stay... even if you stop for a month or two. The motivation WILL come back and it WILL keep you going!
So, I am going to make it a point to go somewhere with internet everyday and keep a physical food log to have on me so I know how many calories and what my portions are! I have to keep going!!
It's the only option!