Friday, June 28, 2013
Yesterday morning didn’t start well and it only seemed to get more stressful as the day went on. I was woken early by my kitty howling in pain because her back hip was hurting her. She has arthritis and I think the recent wet, damp weather has really affected her. I was so upset hearing that sound – it’s an awful sound an animal in pain. I tried to get her to take her kitty motrin but she wasn’t having any of it. I ended up calling my mom to come and kitty-sit because I couldn’t stand the thought of leaving her alone but I couldn’t stay home, especially that day!
For the past 4 days I have been using every spare minute to prepare a 10 minute presentation that I had to give as part of an hour-long interview for a promotion that I have been wanting for literally years. I had a chance to do it in an acting position last year but it wasn’t permanent and I reverted when the acting period ended. This one is permanent and I want it BAD. My competition was my coworker who I work next to every day who is perfectly qualified, a formidable opponent and just as deserving as I was. So I knew I was up against stiff competition.
I got dressed in my suit (I normally wear casual pants or jeans to work – but this is a special occasion!) I was thrilled that it actually fit – because 4 months ago – it certainly wouldn’t have. And then I dumped coffee on my blouse at breakfast. Not awesome. Frantically find something new to wear. Fuss over the cat. Shed a tear when she looks at me with those imploring eyes ‘please don’t leave here alone!’ but trying to reassure her that my mom was coming to be with her!
On top of worrying about the cat and mentally preparing for the interview and sneaking off every few hours to practice my presentation in a break-out room, the day was really busy – so many things going on. And I’m running around in this suit which, while it fits me, always makes me feel trussed up like a turkey. It’s just not my style of comfort.
Interview time comes, I’m put in a room with a piece of paper that lists the 4 questions that will be asked and given a ˝ hour to prepare my answers. I read the questions and then completely panic. WTF? How am I going to answer that! Omg, I’m going to fail, all this work on the presentation and I’m going to fail the verbal question period. But then I calmed down. Read the questions again, absorbed them, let my brain start ticking and soon I had mocked up what I felt were reasonable, quality answers to all 4 detailed questions.
The rest of it was a whirlwind – I barely remember what I said. But I do remember suddenly becoming very calm when I walked into the room with the 3 panel members. The truth is, all I can do is my best. And if my best isn’t better than my coworker’s, then I guess that’s the way it is. I answered the questions, I did my presentation. And I ‘think’ it went well. Lots of smiling, head nodding when I made certain points and even a ‘good answer’ on one.
We had after-work drinks planned with a group of people that had recently completed a project together. Coincidentally, two of those people were on the panel of the interview I just had. When people teasingly asked them how I did, they both answered ‘very well, really good’. Obviously they can’t say much, but I’m taking that as encouraging.
I was completely mentally exhausted by the time I got home at 7pm. I’d had a few nachos with my rye and diet cokes (least calories!) but other than had not had dinner. This would be an epic opportunity for me to overeat and then lie on the couch. Even taking the bus home I was thinking, man I’m going get this monkey suit off, put on my pajamas, vegetate in front of the tv and go to bed early. But today was a c25k run day (Sun/Tues/Thurs) and I knew I hadn’t done my run. And I was going over in my head whether I was really going to do it, or when else I can do it – maybe tomorrow.
But what was strange was that the more I thought about it, the more I felt like I needed to shed the stress of today by going for a run. Not stuffing my face but instead running off the stress. It was the weirdest phenomenon and has never happened to me before. So once I had reassured myself that the cat was fine, I put on my running gear and went out for the 30 minute session. Came home, quick shower, comfy pj’s – and I felt amazing. The stress had melted away. My shoulders felt like they dropped 3 inches.
That is the first time I’ve ever craved exercise over food to deal with an emotion I was having. So that’s my huge NSV for the week.