Since my post yesterday I've been thinking a lot about my internal self talk. Things that I tell myself that may (or may not) be true.
1. I don't like vegetables - FICTION! For a long time, I was convinced of this. Or that I ONLY liked raw vegetables. Or that I hated certain vegetables. It has changed as I've gone along. I've found ways of preparing vegetables that I really like and I feel way better now that I've added them to my diet on a regular basis. I also totally dig getting my box of produce delivered to my step every week and look forward to trying new things with what I get.
2. Salads are pointless and just leave me hungry. FICTION. Salads are not healthy. Nor are they always the bastion of good health and low calories that they're believed to be. Dressings, fatty toppings deep fried meats are just a few of the pitfalls that need to be avoided - I love the buffalo chicken salad at Chili's as much as the next person, but I might as well be eating a burger and fries. HOWEVER, salads can be tasty, filling AND good for you. Last night I made (and blogged about) this amazing kale salad with a lemon garlic dressing as a side for a lightened up beef stroganoff (greek yogurt, no sour cream).
3. I don't have time to cook dinner when I get home from work. FICTION. I was too lazy. I was too set in my ways and too desiring of food I shouldn't be eating that I couldn't cook at home (oh chicken fingers and fries).
4. I can't run, my knees are bad. FICTION. Yes. I have bad knees from overuse in curling for several years. Yes, curling and certain weight training moves hurt my knees. Running does not.
5. I hate running. FICTION. I hated the fitness tests at school where one day you showed up in gym and you had to run for 12 minutes straight without ever running in class before that. I hated being winded, slow and ill prepared. I actually LOVE running. When done properly.
6. Healthy food sucks. FICTION. Healthy food can be deeeeeelicious. I just have to figure out what I like and stop forcing myself to eat overcooked vegetables and frozen spinach.
7. People think less of me because I'm fat. People hate me because I'm fat. People don't respect me because I'm fat. You get the idea. FACT & FICTION. The truth is, I feel that way about myself so I believe that's all that other people see in me. Some people may think less of me. Some people may judge me. I can't control or change that. I can only control and change the way I think about myself and I need to change it. The majority of people out there can and do see past my weight.
8. I can't do XXXX. Mostly FICTION. There are a LOT of things that I've always believed I can't or shouldn't do because of my size or because of my ability. I also thought I could never run a half marathon - I ran/walked one
I thought I couldn't go whitewater rafting. I could and I did. I thought I couldn't sit on a beach in Mexico - I could and I did. I can't run for 8 minutes at a time - Lookit what I did!
9. It's too hard to lose weight. FICTION. It IS hard. That part is true. Too hard? No. Well, ok, some days.... It's hard because I've had to change who I am and how I live. I've had to refocus myself, learn about myself and work at improving every day. I've had to accept who I am, the mistakes I've made and let myself move forward. I've had to work at changing. I've had to think and rethink the choices I make. I've had to change my role models and how I look at the people around me. I've changed the way I shop for food. Weight loss is change and change is good.
10. I'm not worth it. FICTION.
11. People hate those people who order a salad with the dressing on the side and no cheese. FICTION. Who are these people who hate other people and why do they matter so much?
12. It's a crime to waste a good chicken wing. FICTION. This one is hard. Put good food in front of me and there's a part of me that still believes this. I didn't even really grow up in an "empty plate" kind of house. While I know this is fiction, I still have days where I shove self control to the side and overstuff myself because it tastes so darned good. I just do it less.
13. I can't stop eating bread and pasta. FICTION. I rarely buy bread anymore. Meals I thought would be diminished by a lack of refined carbs (I do miss you garlic bread), haven't suffered a bit. That doesn't mean I can never eat bread or garlic bread again. I just won't be having spaghetti with a side of garlic bread if I can help it.
14. People at the gym are staring at me. FICTION. Or at least best believed to be fiction. 99% of them probably couldn't pick me out of a lineup. Unless they've been beside me as I gasp and sweat my way through the first day of a longer run - then they might pick me out in a crowd. But in reality? Probably not. I couldn't pick out the person on the treadmill beside me last week. I couldn't tell you who had their mat next to mine in yoga class. And if they start to notice me, it's going to be for my dedication and regular attendance rather than how I look in my gym clothes.
15. This is pointless, the scale isn't moving FICTION. It's not pointless. I'm in way better shape. I have WAY more energy. I'm wearing a shirt today that I wouldn't wear 2 weeks ago because it's gone from too tight to fitting just right. Although I am maybe a little too boobalicious in it for the office. Good thing I brought a sweater!
Ok. I think I can stop here. There are sooooo many more lies I tell myself. But these are really the big ones.
How many have you told yourself? Have any you tell yourself that I didn't list?
I figure I can't change the destructive ways I'm thinking if I don't realize I'm doing it. Some of these I have changed. Others I'm in the process of changing. It's surprising how little like me I really am.