Friday, June 28, 2013
You know what I've realized?
I've spent almost my whole life trying to lose weight, being self conscious about the way I look, having nothing to wear because everything is too big or too small, sitting on the beach or a pool chair, in a cover up, while everyone is having fun in the water, and feeling deprived on a regular basis.
You know what else I've realized?
If I took all of this energy that I put into diets, eating way too little, being miserable and depressed about the way I look.....if I took this energy and put it into one year of losing weight the right, healthy way....that would be it. I'd lose the weight I needed to, focus on maintenance, and say goodbye to more of the unhappy same.
I've realized that I'm tired of wasting my life. I've realized that one of the reasons I haven't committed to losing weight is because it's HARD. It's hard to count calories in and calories out, it's hard to make sure you've got a calorie deficit that isn't too high and isn't too little, to not eat ice cream or pizza when my emotions are running high, and to like salads all the time.
Like most people, I want a quick fix. I've never done one of the popular diets out there (meal replacement shakes or no carb, for instance), but I've done plenty of my own unhealthy diets. And I know why they appeal to people. In our society, we want instant gratification, and weight loss is no different.
I can't tell you the number of times that I eat great during the day and then pig out at night, or have five days of perfect eating only to ruin it all with one weekend or pizza. And sometimes, I don’t even ruin it with unhealthy foods or by doing anything unhealthy. I just ruin it by eating 1800 or 2000 calories of good for your body foods. That’s great for maintenance mode, but not for weight loss.
And this is why losing weight is so hard. And why this specific cycle has been the story of my life for the past year. My 30th birthday is coming up, and that will be day number 10,957 that I’ve been alive. Granted, maybe the first 9 years of my life I didn’t have a weight problem, but still, that’s a lot of days to have been trying to lose weight.
So I've asked myself....what's better? Another 5, 10 or 15 years of being miserable and deprived with sad attempts at weight loss, or one hard year of doing this the right, maintainable way?
As an early birthday present to myself, here’s to committing. Here’s to knowing that sticking to a miserable 1300 calories does suck and is hard, but is the only way that I will lose weight.
Here’s to knowing that once I drop the extra 30 pounds I’m carrying, I can go back to eating 1800 calories or so of good for you food, maintain my weight loss, and be done.
What a wonderful day that will be.