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Been a rough few weeks

Thursday, June 27, 2013

I had momentum going into this round of BLC. I was so excited to finally be able to hit into the 170s.

Then we took a trip to IL last week and everything went down hill. I've been in a funk of a mood since we got home. Driving from Orlando all the way to Chicago was not a short trip. I felt like no one even cared that we made the trip. I got into a screaming match with my mom. I'm tired of my past being thrown back in my face. I'm tired of mistakes being brought up over and over again. Needless to say I'm still upset over what happened. I just wished people would leave the past in the past and realize I'm happy. That's all I ever wanted since Josh and Maddie died. I don't care what they think or how they feel. If that sounds terrible then oh well. Its my life! I'm the one who went through Hell and back. I'm the one who had to fight to stay alive after that night. I'm the one who had to bury my family and have dealt with the emotions, the mental anguish, and the physical problems ever since that night. Give me a freaking break and butt the hell out!

I've gained 3 pounds since the start of the challenge. Normally it wouldn't bother me and I'd stay motivated and just refocus myself. I hate to say it but I don't even have the energy to do that this time. I've seriously debated on going to FLOATER status this round because I just can't get my head wrapped around what needs to be done.

Our house is back on the market as of June 1st. After having everything fall apart back in January we just decided to stay put. Well, that was until a little gang banger that doesn't even live in our neighborhood pulled a gun on Alan! I immediately called my realtor after Alan told me what happened and we listed the house within days.

We went back and forth between buying one and building one. I thought I had made up my mind of building one but I started looking at houses again. I will say this though, falling in love with a house, and then finding out it already has a contract on it, SUCKS!

We went and looked at one the other day that was a short sale. It needs some cosemetic work but its an awesome house! Its 2 story/4 bed/2.5 bath/2 car garage and its on an ACRE of land! The dogs won't know what to think! We put an offer in on it today. The thing with a short sale though is sometimes it takes a while to get an answer from the bank. We're looking at a minimum of a 45 day wait. Then we have to wait another 30 days before we can close, so at the earliest we could be in that house in September. I don't mind though, anything to get me out of this neighborhood. We may have to stay in a short term rental for a while but that's debatable as of right now.

I re-applied to Disney on Saturday of last week. I haven't heard back from them. Last time I got responses back within minutes, not so much this time. I think I yet again didn't get hired on. I'm really starting to get discouraged with this dream of mine. Yes, people may laugh at me wanting to work somewhere making 9 bucks an hour, but I LOVE Disney.

Here's to hoping my mood and luck changes, SOON!

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MARYBETH4884 6/28/2013 4:04PM

    I hadn't heard why you decided to sell again! Hope the new house is in a much safer neighborhood! Stay with us! Vent if you need to, but we are here for you!((hugs))

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CM_GARDNER78 6/28/2013 10:46AM

    DO NOT GO TO FLOATER!!! Start forcing yourself to do things - even if you don't care....MAKE YOURSELF!! The caring part will follow. You are SO close to your goal - don't let it fall now. You don't have to move heaven and earth, just plug away a little at a time. Just DON'T move to Floater!!!

OMG on Alan getting a gun pulled on him!!!! YIKES! I would be outta there too. I hope that the house works out!!! Keep us posted!

I'm rooting for you and your Disney job!!! :-) What does it matter how much you get paid, if you TRULY love your job?? Nothing to laugh at about that!!

You can do this!!! I know you can!! Keep it UP!!!!

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RUNNING_THIN 6/28/2013 6:28AM

    Good luck with the short sale! They can be sticky, but worth the wait.

I don't laugh at your Disney dream! I'd love to do that too.... As long as I didn't have to wear a costume all day!

Don't let the family get you down. You can't control them, all you can do is control our reaction to them.

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CRISTALITE 6/27/2013 11:37PM

    emoticon takes things step by step, day by day. Cherish the good in your life and that will help you to cope with the not so good. I'm sure that things will work out for the better and you will be in the home of your dreams and working with Mickey and all the gang. Hang in there and don't give......

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