Thursday, June 27, 2013
I have to say the first 3 days after my previous blog post were amazing - I was addicted to sports, controlled myself, lived in harmony.
Sorry, dear Sparkpeople, but this week I will not be the positive person. I realized every change in my daily routine makes me stressful. I had my graduation party, the summer celebration, meeting new people all the time. I enjoyed all of that, but when I returned home, for the last 3 days I have been mindless-eating. And it's not just stress, it's the lack of the capability of reacting on any kind if changes in my life positively. But I want to.
And what am I moaning for? That I eat mindlessly until I'm totally full, after every time I interact with new people? That seems mindless too, knowing that so many people would be happy to have the food I have in my fridge. I just seem to be a spoiled child who does not appreciate how many great things I could do if used the resources I have wisely.
But this week everything that comes into my life - the celebration far away from home, sudden offer to leave the country for 3 weeks, my sister's wedding coming up, and my constant thoughts of how on Earth I will find a job after a month, and that I really would like to live on my own now and start to be independent, away from my family who wishes me the best, but doesn't let me make my own decisions - it all mixes together somehow. And goes straightly to my arms, and there I am reaching for the next sandwich.
But I don't want to anymore. I am tired of this. You know what many people say? Such people should only involve in some hard work. That would stop over-thinking and solve many problems. Maybe they are true.
Not a positive week. Not at all.
I will remind myself why I am trying to get fit again. I will get back on track.