1-99 SparkPoints 50

My temper tantrum

Thursday, June 27, 2013

A year of planning and convincing mysel I'm ready for a gastric sleeve--the surgery day arrived...and then I left the hospital for home, my incisions are healing, stomach is healing..
Four days liquid only with pain killers, coming out of the haze.
And then...
As I sat at the picnic table and watched those in my family who are grazers, enjoying chips and dip nonchalantly, 2 plates of hamburgers and potato salad, they just eat to satiation.
I am mad--feeling such exclusion. Mad at myself for self-mutilation.
I can no longer eat like they do, like I always have. The reality hits me HARD.
I want a plate! Piled high with my favorites!!
I sip my protein water.
I want the acceptance to come after this internal temper tantrum.
I want the realization that I may have saved myself to see my grandchildren to overcome the desire for Doritos.
I want it now, the self satisfaction of a right decision.
OK--temper tantrum over.
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Know what-- this will all be a distant memory soon and YOU are going to be grateful you did this for YOU
    1665 days ago
  • HINK2013
    It is a tough thing to accept some days - and we all feel a bit of "buyer's remorse" soon after surgery! I certainly did and I know many others who also dealt with that as well. Hopefully you will see very soon - that you have made a good choice for yourself, that being able to graze on chips and dip isn't really the thing that makes you enjoy the family party, its being with family and friends, enjoying your time with them. better than any plate of food is your health and the added time that you will have here because you are living a healthier life.

    You are allowed temper tantrums and a little bit of buyer's remorse every once in a while, but in the long run, I hope that you will be satisfied that you have made the right choice for you!

    Good Luck!
    1671 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

More Blogs by RETROREDHEAD65