Thursday, June 27, 2013
It used to be that reading other people's success stories depressed me. I would think that there was something wrong with me because I can't do what they did in that period of time. I would beat myself senseless for lacking motivation, willpower, sheer desire to accomplish this. From there I would tell myself what a useless bag of air I was, taking up space in a world that doesn't want me, etc. Like I said, I'd get pretty damned depressed over it. I'm sure many others felt the same way I did, as I am sure that there are many who still get caught in that circle.
The last two years have changed me. I know that this is different, not because I have successfully lost 42 pounds in the last two years, not because I've kept it off, not because a scale told me. It's different because I am different. It's not about a number on a scale anymore. It's about my health. The number I focus on now doesn't start with something on the floor. It's the number I get from my bloodwork when they test my A1C. It's how I feel when I get up in the morning, when I am moving about doing things, when I am at rest. It's about the energy I have that I didn't seem to have before. It's about the quality of life I have now that I didn't have before.
So when I read the story about the woman who lost over 100 pounds in a year this morning, instead of wishing it was me, I was happy for her success. And it made me think about what I have accomplished. The number on the scale may not be moving right now, but the A1C number IS moving in the right direction, and that's enough for me!
I AM doing this! That woman's journey is not mine. I have a different path and different challenges. Keeping that in mind while I continue down my path will make the difference between the way I USED to think about myself and how I see myself NOW.
Something to keep in mind.