Thursday, June 27, 2013
No really, today I need to Rick roll myself. "Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around (to fast food places) and dessert (cake) you. Ok, I'm not saying cake will never happen again, but it doesn't need to happen daily.
This week I'm adjusting to the food shortage, and by food shortage, I mean, normal meal sizes. Just cutting back to recommended spark calories has trimmed over 1000 calories off my eating a day. Adding exercise to that- it means at night I think I'm a very hungry girl. I have done well with my calories and what I'm eating, but that doesn't mean when the kitchen is closed I'm feeling full all night. On Netflix there is a show called, "Jiro dreams of sushi"- well last night Rachel dreamed of a big, juicy, cheeseburger from a sit down restaurant I've never experienced (It was magnificent, but even in my dream I got a bite in and realized it was unhealthy for me), as well as driving through Taco Bell. Please note, even in my dream, "Taco Bell" food was my homemade whole wheat and cheese quesadillas (sp), a small cup of sour cream and an apple the size of my head. Problem is, those quesadillas run me 700 calories and that is going light on the cheese. Darn you dreams!
My hips are also raging angry. It hurts at the bone. Sleeping is more like crying and tossing. I know it will pass, but right now, I'm spending a lot of sad time holding the cat's paw during the night for comfort. I'm also really angry at night- like I wake up horribly angry with people and stuff that has gone wrong in the last 20 years. I know that's not right. Just praying it passes. That's just not normal.
Still not sleeping. I am excited for the weekend, I'm loading on melatonin and passing out as long as possible.
On the bright side, yesterday my husband really really really wanted to go out for lunch. Did I stress "really"? I asked him to stay in. He reluctantly said he would. When I explained why, he was on board. He knew I'd started this journey, but not to what extent. He's super good support, so this will be good.
I'm giving myself 20 extra bonus points for yesterday. I jacked my back up lifting a box in the morning, but I still got a 30 minute walk in at lunch AND did most* of my weights. Not all, I couldn't do the few that took lower back motion for fear of messing it up more, but I did my legs and arms.
My scale is a jerk. Just a final note. My scale, is a complete and total jerk. I got on it this morning and it said 187.9 and I was all "woohoo lbs down, woohoo"- but then I realized, "2 lbs in one day? what are you playing at scale?" and I got on it and it was back up again to a few ounces above yesterday. 189.3 Jerk scale. In the words of Austin Powers- "It's like that flag at the end of the golf course, it's there to give ya hoope". and then apparently take it away. le sigh. It will get better, it will be ok.
2 lbs down this week. 24 weeks to go (assuming no plateaus) to goal. Let's be honest, there will be plateaus, I'm just pretending they don't exist right now.