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Making one thing perfectly clear

Thursday, June 27, 2013

My blogs are about me, and how I am dealing with life. They are NOT intended to be a critique of my workplace, any of the people I work with, my family members, or any of the other people in my life. They are truly "all about me", and dealing with the feelings that present themselves to me.

Some of the things I say *could* at times offend someone who is on the other side of my feelings, and *could* turn into a he-said, she-said flame war if it went that way (and the other person was aware I said them). When I wrote yesterday about a particular e-mail not being an apology, for example, could cause the writer of that e-mail to become defensive. And I'm not interested in a non-productive distraction.

I thought about this, and as a result, chose to take two of my blogs down, because they mentioned events at work and had a bit more "opining" than I am comfortable with, dancing a line. This is a fact: I've been mandated to work overtime. This is a perception: We are all under a lot of stress right now and I'm more sensitive to what I perceive as criticism when under stress.

What it's really all about is me... and what I do about my feelings. Because I am an emotionally-triggered overeater. So the rest, i.e. what I chose to do: take a walk, ride the bike to work, eat what's in the bag, write a blog, etc. are the relevant bits... not the internal "opining" that triggered the feelings to begin with.

That said: I'm having "a week". After the overnight duty on Friday-Saturday, my sleep schedule disrupted, I've been not at the top of my game.

Monday, I left my day planner at home. Fortunately, while at work, I operate off the computer version.

Tuesday, I managed to make it to work missing my wallet. Fortunately, I had everything I needed packed in the lunch bag. And my coffee card was in the desk drawer.

YESTERDAY... I managed to get to work on my bicycle... MISSING THE BAG! (Yes, the "eat what's in the" bag.) Fortunately, there are healthy options, including fruit and nuts and a salad option at the cafeteria in the basement of the work building... AND I didn't forget the same thing twice, i.e. my wallet was with me.

This morning, I awoke to find e-mail from my older sis... from the hospital. She's had a health flare up that has landed her there! And Kelsey has had an up and down week, still on life support, stable, now entering the third week.

So... that's life. For today:
* Remember to TAKE the bag. Eat what's in it.
* Drink your water... is good for you.
* No bike today... check in with sister after the mandatory OT and maybe swing by hospital to see her!
* It will NOT kill you to take a rest day from the other exercise, but don't forget to go to recess... walking breaks at work do help keep you sane-r. Or less in-sane.

LIFE is precious, and fragile. Savor it. Recognize moments of happiness. Be as kind as you can... to yourself as well as to others. And Spark on! emoticon emoticon
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • CONCHA77
    Hang in there and enjoy your weekend. (((Hugs))) Hope everyone and everything is better today.
    1701 days ago
    The best thing I learned in twelvesteps groups is to talk about me, from my perspective... not in the sense of me,me, me but to keep myself form advices, arguments or judgements.

    I got inspired to be more careful on what view I am displaying in my blogs so thanks Barb!
    1701 days ago
    Barb, so sorry you are having "a week." I know how stressful it is to work countless, seemingly endless hours....and how sthat stress can cause us to blurt things out that we might normally keep bottled up inside. And unless you work with someone who might read your blogs, you shouldn't feel that you can't express yourself here. You are among friends, so feel free to vent, rant, and / or change names if necessary, lol.

    That being said, I hope today was better, and that the mandatory OT does not extend into the weekend. TGIF!
    1701 days ago
    Oh my - sorry for the stress - here's to your attitude getting you through!
    1702 days ago
    I swear all of us high stress workers of a certain age are in the same boat.
    I am about ready to post a note by MY front door listing all the things I said I'd need or do once I opened it.
    1702 days ago
    Yes, I, too. appreciate your blogs and friendship.
    I've blogged about '70 hour' weeks, etc.
    Life is full of ups and downs.
    What I particularly admire is your honesty with how you are dealing with both the 'lemons' and the 'lemonade'. You uolift my day with your positive, caring sentences at the end, such as 'Life is fragile and precious' (paraphrased) and Spark On!
    1702 days ago
    Thanks for sharing the ups and downs of it all, and reminding us to keep our perspective as best we can in the face of stress and frustration! Your week sounds like it's been quite a challenge. I had to laugh at the MISSING THE BAG (yes, the "eat what's in the bag" bag) I have a friend who always used to leave her purse at home, so she posted herself a note by the door " DFYFP"(don't forget your f**** purse!). I shared that with my daughter, and have had to call her a few times to have her bring mine to school with her. She answers the phone "your FP???" Hang in there, and remember to be kind to you!
    1702 days ago
    "My blogs are about me, and how I am dealing with life."

    That was a timely reminder for me this evening. I hustled over and wrote my own blog, not because I owed my SparkFriends and update but because I owe it to myself to organize my thoughts.

    And now, to bed. Sleep time is also important for me this week.
    1702 days ago
    Profound blog, Barb! The way you deal with such a stressful situation is instructive for your readers. It may be all about you, but it is helpful to many. Even though my stressors are far different now, I identify with much of what you write. The way you face the truth is admirable. Love your pep talks, too, and have started having similar ones. Hang in there, Barb!! -Marsha
    1702 days ago
  • DALID414
    It's tough to separate things when you're emotional about something.
    1703 days ago
    Sorry to hear about your sister. I hope you get the chance to go see her tonight.
    1703 days ago
    Your blogs are always so insightful and help so many of us in our daily struggles. You inspire us to keep moving. We understand when things are stressful. Take care and please know that we are here for you, hugs and prayers for your entire family.
    1703 days ago
  • KANOE10
    I do the same thing when I am stressed..forget things like lunch or cell phone. Your job sounds very stressful. I think you are wise to vent your emotions by blogging. You are right, you blogs are for you to express your feelings. Many of us learn and identify with you as we read your blogs. Hugs to Kelsey and your sister.
    1703 days ago
    1703 days ago
    Sounds like you have a plan when work is stressful - and I don't know very many people who don't find work stressful.
    1703 days ago
  • NWFL59
    Most public Spark blogs I've read seem to be for the writer's benefit as I think they should. We are here to support each other and to garner support/strength/motivation/other from what others are willing to share of their life experiences. Glad you have habits that allow you multiple ways to destress from your life challenges. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1703 days ago
    Keep on keeping on... and continue to be true to who you are...
    1703 days ago
    Yeah, sometimes I feel I'm being too self centered in my blogs. But, what else are they but 'all about me' musings? In my most recent blog, I was self conscious enough to subtitle it "a vanity blog", because I posted a picture which I thought was flattering to me.
    Thanks for reminding me that these blogs are all about us, and hopefully will inspire, or help others in their own struggles with life.
    Keep on bloggin' those great thoughts.
    1703 days ago
  • ANDI571
    I have always had a hard time journaling. I remember back when my mom had Alzheimer's and I felt I was the only family member on board taking care of her. I was tired, hurt, and probably every other emotion you could have. I started a journal and started writing exactly what I felt. It didn't take long that I was so scared someone would find my journal, read it and be hurt. I threw it away, never to do it again. It's funny how something so medicinal can also cause stress.

    Hang in there. Those emotions can cause havoc on one healthy eating. Something I have been doing. I go to my email and I pretend I am emailing God. I let it all out. Then instead of hitting the send button, I pretend the cancel button sends it on out there. So that way I can get out exactly what I want, send it out there, and no one ever sees it.
    1703 days ago
    You have your head on straight more than you know. When I write venting blogs, I try to picture the person/people I'm venting about, sitting next to me when I write. It sometimes helps me to remember to let it go or be gentle. Perception is everything!

    I've been having a horrible week at work. This morning I asked God to help me over this certain hump and immediately thought of Kelsey and tried to keep things in perspective.

    Keep on being you!

    1703 days ago
  • GABY1948
    You are SO right, And, Barb, I totally understand the last few blogs...I retired from the "big Phone Company"...lots of stress and the same situations you write of...and I was often on mandatory OT.

    Have a GREAT day...glad Kelsey is at least still stable and praying still for total restoration...

    Sorry about your sis and praying she is out of the hospital soon.

    Oh, and, yesterday I went to town to the store and thankfully realized about a mile away I had wallet! emoticon
    1703 days ago
  • MIRAGE727
    Stay strong, My Friend!
    1703 days ago
    We all have times of "opinion" and that is fine. This is a place of support and sometimes a good vent is all we need to clear the air and get a new perspective on situations. It sounds like that is what you have done and made choices accordingly.

    I hope your weekend is more relaxing. You've had a really tough week and it doesn't help with family members in the hospital.

    Hang in there and emoticon !
    1703 days ago
    Yes, our blogs are about us and our world as WE see and experience it. I appreciate your sharing your thoughts and commenting on mine.

    I hope Kelsey continues to improve and your sister recovers quickly.
    1703 days ago
    You can get through this. Do what you need to do to get through healthy and without murder charges.

    1703 days ago
    I try to start each morning with my gratitude journal. that helps me to prevent 'having a week". We all go through those times, especially when we work full time and that is where we spend the majority of our waking hours. I can so appreciate everything you said here. Keep going, only a few more days until the weekend. i hope you get some respite from work and can have some me time.
    1703 days ago
    Totally appreciate your decision to take down the "opining" blogs". And the impulse that led you to post them in the first place -- this is YOUR blog, where you get to think through how stress triggers food/exercise issues.

    And . . . "having a week" is generally the way stress manifests itself for me too. It's amazing how many different things I can "forget" when I'm overwhelmed and in danger of forgetting about . . . me. My goals, my needs, my best interests. Because other's goals, needs, interests are crowding mine out.

    Thanks as always for letting us listen in on your pep talks, which function as pep talks for more of us than you'll every know I suspect.
    1703 days ago
    You do not need to apologize for anything that you write as you do not write with malicious intent. I thoroughly enjoy your blogs and I hope you stay "just the way you are" a.k.a Billy Joel.


    1703 days ago
  • REJ7777
    Keeping our health a priority during disappointing, stressful times at work and in our personal lives is one of the biggest challenges for long-term weight control. That's usually where I lose the battle. Thank you for modeling how control can be maintained in the thick of it!
    1703 days ago
    Just keep on doing what you are doing. Your friends will understand.
    1703 days ago
    Barb!---Don't let the B--T--ds---get you down!----Yer blog is yer opinion-----Man, I enjoy reading yer opinion!!--- Glad yu got that bike ride in!!!--Hope the people in yer life will be OK------ clouds---mosquitos here-----killed 4 already --IN the HOUSE!-Lynda emoticon
    1703 days ago
    Sounds like a week!!! (And doesn't it make you happy all body parts are attached?)
    1703 days ago
    Awwww, hugs to you Barb.
    1703 days ago
    1703 days ago
    1703 days ago
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