Wednesday, June 26, 2013
Kaboom. The explosion of June followed by the Fall Out. Unfortunately the Fall Out attached itself to my body. Eight pounds in four weeks. Yeah. I lost my MoJo to say the least. Just when I thought I was in my groove. Things were happening. I was working it. It was clicking. The momentum was going my way. And then, BAM, I became untethered. I floated about eating chocolate and chips and fountains of wine trying to weigh myself down. June was busy. There was prom and then graduation and then flying cross country for college orientation and then, the biggest stressor of all, wisdom teeth surgery. Not fun for any child but darn scary if your child has ITP and his blood does not clot properly. For six plus months we have been in the waiting mode. Waiting for his platelet count to go up high enough to have the surgery. Monitoring it constantly to make sure sure that it was high enough to play Varsity soccer. And so it was that immediately after we got back from the east coast orientation trip, the surgeon gave us the green light. And everything went well. We are weaning him off of the oxycodone but he can't take most of the pain meds they would normally prescribe to patients because of their affect on the platelet count. So now I can exhale a bit, I think. But I still have to get out of my head and, for me, that means getting out of Dodge and heading to the Rockies for sun, mountains, wide open spaces, prong-horn antelope, bighorn sheep and spending time by myself. I need to check out for awhile. Go off duty. Undercover. Maybe I will take a journal and vent.Maybe I will burn it. I don't know but it has got to be about me for awhile. I need to recharge. Do what I want, when I want, how I want. because what I am doing...it's not working. AT ALL!!! So time to turn off for awhile. All the "stuff" will still be there when I get back. I know that, but I will be earthbound again and my roots will be stronger. Time to feed my need. It has to be about me for awhile. Don't knock. Don't call. I am going to sit by the river and watch the world go by. When I am ready to hop back on, I will.