Wednesday, June 26, 2013
My 9 year old son makes me laugh each and every day (thank God) and this morning he was commenting that he is happy with how he looks, and with his body type. He is a big kid (I am 5'3" and he now looks me in the eyes - I think he has one inch to catch me). He is a solid kid but definitely tends toward the chubby in his cheeks and his belly. He is built just like his birthdad who is a very big, muscular guy who also had chubby cheeks and a chubby belly when he was 9 years old. My point is, my boy is not meant to be skinny, not likely to be skinny, and, fortunately, does not desire to be skinny. He said "If I was skinny, Momma, I would look like a big old skin-bag!) Ewwww, such a yucky but accurate description. There are bodies that look wonderful when they are slender (I would argue that actual SKINNY is never a good look, but that is just my opinion). There are bodies that tend towards the heavier, naturally. I am definitely not a big old skinbag. I am uncomfortably heavy at this point in my life, but can honestly tell you that I choose this over skinny (not to be confused with slender). Fat and strong and healthy is preferable to me over skinny and frail and weak. I think of skinny as frail and weak because my mother, who is quite elderly, becomes more fragile looking with each day. She is like a photograph, fading with time. To her credit, she does not let her frailty stop her. She keeps moving - tidying up, cooking, baking, generally bustling around her cute little house. It is just hard for me, and all of her kids, to see her so tiny and frail - she is basically skin over bone at this point. Of course, there is a nice, comfy spot between heavy and skinny and this is my destination. I am a slow traveler, Sparkly people. I know there are those who claim heavy can never be healthy. I agree it is not ideal but I quote my primary care physician on this point "You are perfectly healthy except for your weight. You are very strong and all your important numbers are spot-on." So, do I justify being heavy? Perhaps a bit, but mostly I accept it because acceptance is a big part of making changes. I did not struggle with weight the first 20 years of my life. Perhaps I will not struggle the last 20 years (wishful thinking, and who the heck knows when the last 20 years begin?) But, right now, I struggle on, sort of big, kind of old, but definitely not a skin-bag.