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It is what it is!!

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

But is it enough?

“Change is possible, of course, and we want others as well as ourselves to stretch and to grow (compound cliché), at work and at life. But it is what it is, at least until it is not.” ~ Christopher Peterson, Ph.D. in The Good Life

My life often feels like one of those giant slide puzzles we played with in our childhood.

Love them still, but not when it interferes we our daily lives. We have been purging again and as usual I find it emotionally exhausting going through “old” stuff and getting rid of it. I’ve become the keeper of all things sentimental since my first husband died in 1975… yes Nineteen Seventy-five!!!!! And since then both sets of grandparents, my youngest brother and daddy have all passed away and my mom, bless her soul, always has several things to send home with us after a visit. Stuff… STUFF I want… stuff I don’t need. Stuff that has filled a bedroom. Stuff that I have to move around, like those slide puzzles to make room for... yes, more stuff.

So much stuff, like my dad’s autograph book from 1940, the calendar my mom kept and faithfully wrote on daily the first 2 years of my life, my husbands AND dads AND brothers wallets with all the contents that were in them the day they died. All the kids precious school work and heartfelt cards and notes they’ve given us over the years. Most of the nasty cards and letters my mother-in-law has sent us for the last 33 years my DH and I have been married… yes, I have one of those hateful woman who thought she was going to be her sons “one and only!!” So sad really because she missed out on 4 grandchildren, who are happily married and 6 great-grandchildren who will never know her or their grandfather. It is what it is. It wasn’t about me; my husband made his choice and has never regretted it..... lucky me emoticon

I got on the scale again today and the story is getting old. Up a pound and a half… two days ago I was down a pound. This has been going on for a year now. I’m beginning to think the tortoise on my weight ticker has died because it hasn’t moved in FOREVER!!!!!!! It is what it is, I murmured to myself.

In that instant that saying made all the sense in the world to me. My loved ones are gone… I don’t need their stuff to remember them by. I have soooooo many wonderful memories tucked in my heart that cross my mind daily. My mother-in-law is sick, I don’t need to keep her negativity bundled up in an old shoe box to come across and go through every few years. And even though the scale is not my best friend this year, I still have made incredible strides in bettering my life since joining SparkPeople three years ago.

On June 21, 2010, the day before my 63rd birthday, I joined this awesome community and started on a journey that has changed my life completely. I really didn’t know how I was going to lose weight because I couldn’t exercise and although I was very informed about nutrition and thought I was eating well I learned a lot, very quickly, about what I was doing wrong. My biggest hope was realized… I lost weight, I move more, I’m a happy girl again, able to participate in daily chores and family gatherings. I know this and celebrate what I can do… not what I can no longer do, because… It is what it is.

Are we there yet? Yes, I am!!! Am I done? HAHA NO!!!

Will I ever get below 200? I don’t know… will I every go above 300? Never again… that I know for sure. And the way that that won’t happen is if I NEVER QUIT!!! My active friend list is getting smaller and smaller. After three years some of my original friends haven’t logged in for more than 600 days… I miss them. I also keep them around as a reminder to never quit… it is what it is if I do… at least until it isn’t. In the mean time I Spark On and count my blessings. One of those blessings is YOU my dear SparkFriend.

Now back to the shredder… time to let go and purge some more. I want that bedroom back so our grandkids can come and stay over night without having to move everything off the beds each time…. I’m getting to old for this emoticon

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I enjoyed reading about your purging. It's good to know I'm not the only one with "stuff" weighing me down from the past. I have to remember that if I just do a little each day (purging stuff and exercising) it will all add up. Good luck with getting rid of the weights around you. You can do this!
    1721 days ago
    Wow, Linda, you are so grounded, and you speak a universal language. It is my mom speaking to me, and it is me speaking to my chilcren. I just love it!
    Thank you for sharing, my friend. You are already a winner and I know you own that.
    Keep sparking!!! emoticon emoticon
    1726 days ago
  • FRANCO1230
    You said, "My active friend list is getting smaller and smaller. After three years some of my original friends haven’t logged in for more than 600 days… I miss them. I also keep them around as a reminder to never quit."
    I couldn't agree more. AND, I am SO glad that WE are still here, going strong!
    Rock on, my friend!!! emoticon emoticon
    1727 days ago
  • KAREN608
    A belated happy birthday!!

    Purging stuff is ongoing here as well.
    But last week I bagged up 4 tall kitchen bags of stuff
    to leave forever from this place. More to do.

    I actually do not have any of my Dad's things I used
    to have NOR my old roller skates, as sometime ago
    I decided memories are best kept in the mind.

    I still struggle with stuff, as I have to be mentally
    in the right zone to get rid of things and so far no
    regrets at all.

    I am finding clear liquid soap in the barn
    and yesterday I shared two of the four bottles
    of it with our handyman friend. They didn't want
    a bottle of Spic n Span.

    Much more in barn and I know a lot of will be gifted
    out or whatever. I lived this long without it.

    I have a game plan for craft things: I have not done
    cross stitch so kits can go find a home elsewhere.
    Craft items are the hardest for me to part with!
    1727 days ago
    ty Linda for sharing, you just reminded me about some of the weeding out I have to do, that I have been putting off.

    baggage is what it is, I guess, and its time and season to let go, of a lot of things.

    thank you for your thought provoking inspirational story

    Blessings emoticon
    1728 days ago
  • JILL313
    Hi Linda, I can relate to your blog as every cupboard, drawer, closet, etc in my house. is filled with a lifetime of saved memories. It's one reason I can't even imagine moving after 40 years of me saving stuff some of which I should toss but truthfully I wouldn't know where to begin. I haven't gone through these things in many years it's pretty much my old paperwork, old worthless treasures and my 3 sons stuff. I didn't get very much from my Mom and Dad but a few treasured pictures of them. I think it is more of a woman/Mom thing as when I'm gone I'm guessing most of it will be tossed away by my sons, Yikes. I also have seen so many wonderful friends leave here without a clue as to what has happened to any of them. The few that have come back seem not to be here long and most unfortunately quit again. Linda, I hear you as I've lost a significant amount of weight but it's taken me a lot longer than it should have and I'm still trying to get to under 200 pounds and won't be satisfied until I do. I might be 102 by that time but it's okay as I'm enjoying being on SP and have made such treasured friends. Seriously, I'll be happy even if it takes me another 3 years to lose enough weight to finally be healthier and more fit and finally be in Onderland. I know we both aren't ever quitting on our dreams and it's better to have our ups and downs than quitting and ending up in Threeville again, no way am I ever going there ever again.as I still remember how disabled and unhealthy I was. . .

    Love You,

    1729 days ago
  • CHEROKEE1946
    I showed my husband you picture of that slide number thing and he said I use to have one of those, but I threw it away years ago and he was a little upset when I told him that, oh well I told him it is what it is. Yes I have been around a while also and I know what you mean up a 2 lb down 1, down 3 up two it does get frustrating but I like you agree never to go up like I once was and if it takes more time I am willing to invest more time. Loved your blog and I thank God I only had one blow out with my MIL and left her know my feelings and took time to hear hers and we got a long really great all through our marriage. Hope you have a super great day. Hugs.
    1729 days ago
    1729 days ago
    Thanks for sharing this post although you DID remind me of some things I need to do.

    ARGHHH - did you need to remind ME how much of a collector and hoarder I am? I have stuff from forever and stuff that used to be and essentially a lot of it is clutter but so hard to get rid of. The show "Clean Sweep" used to come in and "show you how to do it" there is one idea that I particularly liked about STUFF that has sentimental memories but really doesn't fit into your chosen lifestyle and/or space. They would take a picture of the item with the homeowner and then put the picture in a place of honor or create some type of display with a part of something that had been living in a closet or drawer forever. They would then sell the things that had a value and get rid of the garbage (shredding the hostile letters from the MIL - and bills or things with names and personal information on them). I would love to have Peter Walsh come and do my home.
    1729 days ago
    Speedy143 - thanks for sharing! You have touched me emoticon
    1729 days ago
  • 123ELAINE456
    Awesome Blog. I have been going through things, sorting and tossing things out too.
    You will feel better for it when You are done. You will have more room and your house will look so much better. So Keep Pushing Forward. You are doing Great. God Blessings To You and Everyone. Have a Delightful Day. Take Care. Hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    1730 days ago
    Linda, Would you please tell me how my words came out of your mouth? LOL, but I have to admit , you said it a lot better than I thought it.. I have been re organizing things for the past 2 years. We even called an emergency meeting that our 4 children had to attend. When they got here I had fixed them homemade pizza from days gone by that they used to beg me to fix for them. I had each of them a family recipe book made up of my recipes and from grandmas and great grandmas passed down and each of them had several boxes in the den. There names were on them . When they left they had to take it. Stuff they left behind when they moved out 15 to 20 years ago. I now have several nice clean bedrooms. Yay!

    Gail emoticon
    1730 days ago
    What a beautiful, meaningful, thought provoking blog. Thanks, Linda.

    1730 days ago
    We are considering a move to a smaller house. Right now we are on a drive to Virginia to visit the two kids who live out here. The car is loaded with things for our DD (previously took things for DS, so only 2 things for him this time--Monopoly and Risk games with his name on them). DD gets her box of dolls, a box with water glasses and some china we've been storing for about 15 years, and her Easy Bake Oven. She turned down her old Sorry game. I don't care what she does with this stuff, as it is hers and out of our house. The biggest thing we've done? We finally got busy and sorted through a huge plastic tub of college catalogs and recruitment letters from our son John's high school basketball recruiting years. We saved the letters, recycled the catalogs (40 different schools in that tub) and reduced it all to a stack of letters about 2 inches tall. It felt good, but strange to finally face some of that. I, too, am the repository for much family stuff and it is time to put an end to it. Clutter in my surroundings seems to lead to clutter in my life generally. The kids don't want this stuff, and as you said, Linda, the memories are tucked in my heart and will never disappear. Stuff is just stuff...love and memories are so much more valuable. Best to you in this NEW-to-you year!! Love and hugs, Jeannie
    1730 days ago

    Comment edited on: 6/26/2013 8:50:23 PM
    Go for it!
    1730 days ago
    From time to time I purge.........it is not easy at first but afterwards I know I have made the sane decision. What is in my heart is all I ever need to remember/love people. Now I will and do draw the line on photo's...........they are so very important to me!! And it is so funny what you say about your Spark friends moving on for just yesterday I went to my home page and those that are no longer reachable or as you say over 600 days or so not being active I have deleted them. At holidays I like to give goodies to my friends and going to their page from year to year I am sometimes the only or last one to visit there..............and then there were names that you could no longer click to go to the page.............it felt strange to do it but I had to clean up the clutter for it was taking time from friends that are active now.............I miss my friends but as you say........It is what it is!!! Don't ever go AWOL on me Linda.............you are important to me and others on here.
    What a wonderful blog!! From a wonderful person of course!!!
    That yo-yo weight thingy-dingy.............I suffer from it too...............let's work on that together shall we??
    1730 days ago
    I am always downsizing and accumulating and downsizing again. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1730 days ago
    what a wonderful blog, and I see me in so much of it, hooray for you for shredding, I have so much, I go though it and do get rid of small amounts but save all these things that my son, will not even look at, when it comes time for him to take care of my DH and my clutter. I have so many memories and memories take up such a small space, so on Friday I am going to give it another try and give my self a bit of space to breath, and I realize if I had less it makes cleaning house just that much easier.
    1730 days ago
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