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Day 8 - Panic sets in

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

I decided to change my weighing day to Mondays so I weighed myself early this week and I am under 80 kgs for the first time in about 2 years. And I don't know when I last lost more than 1 kg in a week let alone 5 days. I was ecstatic. I still am on some level - but the joy was quickly replaced by panic. On one hand I keep thinking what if this is a fluke? What if in next week's weigh in no matter how hard I try, I am just not capable of losing the weight and achieving a weight that I am comfortable and confident in?

However what terrifies me most, is that this might actually work. I could actually achieve my goal weight. I no longer think it would change my life really - I cannot honestly say that my weight has got to a point yet where it became debilitating - but it will certainly change the way I live my life. I am already feeling a little more in control and focused at work, positive and productive. Am I so used to being dissatisfied with my weight that I wouldn't know what to do with myself if I achieve the weight loss? Does this 'comfort' cause me to sabotage my efforts when I start seeing progress?

The quote - Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure, it is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us - describes how I feel to a T. I guess my fear is that if I accept that I am powerful beyond measure, then I have to live up to that power. I have no excuse to live a second rate life.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    My friend WHISPERINGPINE quoted someone: The only person who can beat me is me, and I am pretty sure I can take her.
    1726 days ago
    You deserve living a wonderful first class amazing life.
    And you can actually do it.
    The Spark way of losing weight works, it has worked for millions of people. So if you stick to it, you can succeed. There will be a plateau or two, but they are also learning curves. So just keep going, don't stop. If you have a disaster, start again with your very next choice.
    Love yourself, love your amazing body and make choices your future self will thank you for.
    Congratulations on the weight loss. Now you are picking up momentum, in 21 days it will be a habit. In a couple of months a new lifestyle.
    Keep going one day at a time.
    1726 days ago
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