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On the cusp


Wednesday, June 26, 2013

On the cusp

Well I finished my big walk 3 weeks ago – and to be honest I am very proud of myself – I know you shouldn’t be that was huge for me. About 8 days ago I fund myself tucking in to a bread and potato crisp and ketchup sarnie at 11 o’clock at night.

I suddenly realised that I had done this for 3 nights running – I realised that I was thinking at about 8 at night what I could have later tonight to eat. This has always been my demon and I couldn’t believe that that the little git had reared back into my life.

I spat the sarnie in the bin and kicked my own ass until my nose bleed. I didn’t sleep that night I was so angry with myself, I couldn’t believe after all the hard work that I could so easily slip back into bad habits.

It was interesting that all I had done on spark was spin the wheel – we all love those points – I hadn’t kept my food diary up to date.

So it is very plain to me I can not be trusted I will always need help to keep focused. My struggle will be life long but I will win – 78lbs done and I feel great.

Have a great day
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
LADYFROMTHEWOOD 6/29/2013 4:57AM

    You realized what you were doing. You spit out the sandwich and threw the rest away. YOU DID THIS. Would the old you have done so, or made excuses for eating the rest? See? All is not lost.
What you may need is "the next goal." Another walk? Maybe one for yourself this time? A new activity to conquer? Rock-climbing? Swimming? Lifting weights?
Yes, track that food. That is a goal itself. Track it, I say!
You can do this. You will reach your goal.
~Teresa

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JOYINKY 6/26/2013 9:31AM

    emoticon Vigilance is our friend and mindless eating our enemy! Lurking, waiting for that "tired" moment when resolve is weak. Even after all these years, I still count calories in my own shorthanded way, I must. I enjoy eating in the evening, so I plan for it. It's still about healthy choices. But, healthy or not; I'm committed to counting it and that keeps me on track. Life is good. emoticon

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KIBBLE55 6/26/2013 8:00AM

    Chantal - the motivation and will power is already with you thats why you use this site. If you are struggling take a look at what you are doing write down your anger at yourself give yourself a good talking too - Have a mantra - mine is "I WILL BE 15 STONE" every time im tempted or lazy I say it sometimes out loud and very loud much to the amusement of strangers and despair from my family.

Keep fighting trust me if I can do it anybody can.

Take care

Kibs

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SPARKCHANTAL 6/26/2013 5:44AM

    please pass the motivation and willpower

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