Tuesday, June 25, 2013
Things are better today. My body is still recovering from the massive four night binge fest I put it through (when I binge, it tends to be mostly at night), but I have been okay with food since yesterday, and I think I will be okay today. I forced myself to exercise last night, even though I really didn't want to, and was happy that I did. I'll try to do the same tonight, although I have really low energy. I know I need to, though, because along with all the water I've been drinking, I know the exercise will help some of this bloating go down. Because seriously, I haven't felt this bloated in months, and I am NOT exaggerating! I'm so bloated that some of my loose skin actually looks less loose, the only good thing about this whole mess. I've decided not to weigh myself for about a week if I can help it, because I know the number on the scale will be totally discouraging. And some of it, although not all of it, will definitely be weight gain. I just want to give the bloating a chance to go down a bit before I assess the final damage I did to myself the past few days.
I'm almost 100% sure now that my massive food consumption over the weekend was due to hormones. It simply couldn't have been anything else. My moods were pretty stable for the most part, it was just the CRAVINGS I couldn't handle. They were super strong, stronger than any I've felt in ages. Heaven forbid it's pregnancy, but really, that's highly unlikely. I've been experiencing several other lovely PMS symptoms, so really, it must have been that. Now the question I can't answer is what made it so bad this month, as opposed to other months where my behaviour has not been nearly so extreme. It really is a mystery. Today, when I felt the first hunger pangs in my stomach since Thursday afternoon, I was actually ecstatic! Is that crazy? I took them as a sign that all the junk I had forced down my gullet was finally assimilated and digested by my body, for good or ill. Now how much of it will turn into actual fat remains to be seen.
Okay, so I'm pretty sure that I'll be able to control my eating for the week, at least until Friday. And then I'll face another test. I'm heading out to stay with my boyfriend and his parents for the long weekend. I love it there! They treat me like a princess. I don't have to lift a finger (they actually won't let me), and it's like a mini vacation every time I visit. The problem is, there will be a lot of tasty food to tempt me. His parents can COOK! And while the food they make is fairly healthy for the most part, it is often high in calories. So this will be a true test for me. If I hadn't just gorged myself silly over the last few days, I wouldn't be too worried, but since I did, I'm so worried that I'll eat too much on the weekend again (not binge, but still over eat), and before I know it I'll have regained 5 if not 10 pounds. NOT COOL. So I'm gonna have to stay super vigilant if I can. At least they have a treadmill...