Tuesday, June 25, 2013
One obstacle I'm still working through is how to deal with what I call the "weight-loss" police. It's one of the reasons why I don't announce that I'm trying to lose weight anymore. I make healthy lifestyle changes secretly, and with the exception of this board do this pretty much alone. This has helped me tremendously and I was free of them until recently when one of my co-workers decided he wanted to lose weight. He's trying to do this strict plan and he doesn't want to do it alone so he's trying to get me to do it, but I don't want to do a strict food plan. So I told him very politely that I wasn't interested. I'm not dieting just trying to make lifestyle changes.
So yesterday I'm at my desk eating my snack, red grapes. I love grapes, green, black, red, all yummy in my book. They take care of my sweet tooth and they are actually pretty filling! So they are like a fruit I would love to have as a staple in my house, but I can't get good grapes all year long like I can apples so I get them when they look good regardless of the price and enjoy them.
Any ways he says to me, "You shouldn't be eating grapes. They are bad for you. You should be eating blueberries." Well, I like lost it and went off on him, but it really grated my nerves.
1. Grapes are healthy. I've done research and there are many health benefits to grapes. I'm not knocking blueberries. I know they are healthy and good for me. I just don't like them and I can't get them fresh to see if there was some way I could eat fresh and like them...only frozen and they are tough and bitter so since grapes are accessible and I'm more likely to eat them, I grab them.
2. Let's say grapes weren't a superfood, does that mean they shouldn't be in my diet? Of course not! It's a fruit. I mean it's still healthier than say a cinnamon roll or donut! If anything, how about a pat on the back for that?
3. How does a comment like this help anyone who is trying to lose weight? Seriously. I'm so sick of people judging and criticising me. It's one thing when I'm calling out for help and saying what can I do, but when I'm not soliciting feedback, why, why, why would someone make a person like me feel like what she's doing isn't good enough or not the "right" way? How does that motivate me?
It's like when I was exercising and I asked for advice from my friends who worked out and I was made to feel like I wasn't working out hard enough. So I kept ramping up my workouts and getting frustrated because I wasn't seeing progress and the workouts weren't getting easier, they were getting harder. I kept doing more and more because I was made to feel I wasn't working out hard enough. Well, guess what happened? I injured my shoulder and back and that killed my visits to the gym. Now I've been getting a lot of Sparkpeople articles around exercise and from reading those exercises it sounds like I was over training my muscles and so my shoulder and back took the brunt of the workout. Could have been bad form, but the fatigue and the workouts not getting any easier would point to over training so I don't talk about my workouts anymore. I don't talk about my food anymore. I don't talk about anything that opens to those, "You're not doing it right." comments yet someone is in my business even with not doing that so now I need a game plan.
Why you may ask? Because of the two fun size candy bars I ate today. The devil with the horns on my head was like screw it today and won. Because even though I like making healthier changes, it gets harder to when I have people saying stuff like this. It makes it easier to just say screw it and give up. Why do all this work when I have to worry about someone hangin over my shoulder, criticizing me even when I was pretty dang proud of myself for having grapes than say a bagel or a fruit and grain bar? Why do all this work when it's so much easier to eat that candy bar I want or not exercise and just hide out in my house?
However, I know deep down I don't want to give up. I don't want to be like screw it and go back to my old lifestyle. That path is the slow path to death. That is the path to having less and less energy and more and more health problems. The path to less living, less being here for my daughter. This is not what I want. I want to live a healthier life. I want to feel good about myself. I want to set my daughter up right through my health example.
As always, thank you for listening to me. I don't know what I would do without SparkPeople where I have a group of people I can confide in who cheer me on and help me push forward. Granted, I ultimately know that it's only me who can change me, but you guys don't know how much it's helping me to get encouragement. To hear someone say, "I've been there. Just trust the process. Keep pushing. Keep making changes." But most of all, thank you for believing I can do it when I'm not sure I can myself. I know I will get over this hurdle. I just need help.