Monday, June 24, 2013
Ok I did it! Its been almost a year and a half since I stopped running, and Friday I got back at 'er with my friends in a run for our new swimming pool. We wore white and got splashed with coloured powders.
I am still suffering from a nasty lingering cold. I thought seriously about laying low. I didn't feel very well while doing the run. But afterwards? I felt soooo much better! That "got back on the horse" feeling.
It was hard going with others. I realized I had only run solo before! I ran with myself and my thoughts, at my pace, not talking, and it was akin to meditation. This was different.
My one friend is about half my size. She expected me to go bouncing down the road with her. I found it a bit embarassing when I was huffing and puffing after 45 seconds. I brought my iphone and did intervals. I really, really enjoy doing it that way. If there are 15 seconds to go and my thighs are burning, I can push myself! My other friend just dropped 27lbs in two and a half months, and here is why-her four year old fell into our local river and drowned. I dont know her extremely well, but I can say I was honored to be huffing and puffing with her:)
My bouncing tiny friend kept asking if it was okay to run ahead. We kept saying go for it. But inside I was feeling a plethora of negatives! I was chastizing myself for letting my running stamina drop off the edge of the earth. All that hard work! I thought about where I was before the losses of my babies last year, and that brought up more hard feelings! I realized I really am a slow runner. I wonder if my pace will lengthen out over time? Sometimes I am more of a slow shuffler, and that is how I keep moving forward lol!
Anyways, I tried hard to look at the gorgeous green fields, the blue sky, the colorful people, the happy little kids who will be swimming in their new pool in a month or two. I told myself its great to be able to shuffle! At the very least I am moving forward.
All I can do is take this feeling of excitement I have towards running, and sparking, and finding my best self and take the next steps! I can retrain my body to run again. Three times a week! And my little friend wants to try running together at least once a week. I am now not that certain it will work:( i didnt realize I had a competitive streak in me, but when she couldnt stop telling people all night how much energy she had and how she had to run ahead of us, I really felt upset! But hey, cant beat em? Join em, right? She can slow down and I can catch up over time. Maybe thats what I need, a bouncing bunny friend to spur me on lol;)