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    KYLAR_STERN   22,092
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Lost a battle- Emotional binge

Monday, June 24, 2013

I lost a battle this weekend. Thatís how Iím gonna have to think of this to keep myself from getting discouraged. I had been doing so well, as good as could be hoped while staying sane and enjoying a lot social events with friends which involved food, plus traveling for work. Then I go and mess up big time.

Hereís what my weight has looked like since my horrible bout of 3 weeks of binging. I weigh myself every morning I can and ignore the little fluctuations. Then at the end of the week I take an average and record that and use this value for seeing trends.



Itíd been going great, the bloat took forever to come off, but now I was close to where I wanted to be and getting some nice, slow fat loss. Itís gonna peak up again and take another 2 weeks now.

It wasnít an all out binge like I have struggled with in the past. This one was actually a case of emotional eating, which is a more common problem so at least its more normal. Long story short, I was basically begged by a girl to come down with the group for a baseball game and hit the bars the night before with them. It took a lot of last minute maneuvering to get tickets and find a place to stay with a friend, but I made it down the 100 miles for the weekend. Then all of a sudden she completely stops texting me and Iím not able to find that group downtown. Still had a good night with my one friend, but not near what I hoped.

Driving back and not drunk per say, just a handful of drinks, I just wanted to snack on sweet stuff at my friendís house. Thatís all I wanted was to eat in frustration. This was like premeditated or something. We get back and he even says we should eat something so together we killed half a bag of doritos, but that wasnít enough to stop me sadly. He crashed out and I went upstairs to ďbrush my teeth.Ē

So even with traveling all that week and the extra calories of the alcohol, my overall weekly report showed 1876 calories eaten (last 2 days of travel I was exhausted and had 0 appetite. Even skipped a meal in there) with a combined BMR and burned of 2214 so a beautiful deficit of 338 per day which I am perfectly fine with at this stage.

Then I just snacked in frustration on the stuff my buddy had around and I feel so bad. Going from memory, I think I ended up consuming 2 ice cream bars, 10 fig newtons, 3 cookies, about 6T of the various nut butters with crackers to sample them, 2 fiber one bars, two big spoonfuls of this lemon frosting stuff and an ice cream cone.

Putting that back into the tracker, it moves my weekly average of calories all the way up to 2378 to show how one bad hour can kill an entire weekís worth of hard work. Then the next morning, I still had a sugar rush going and I wasnít able to stop myself from grazing on the fig newtonís he got out for breakfast, or the doughnut holes the family heís living with brought home.

I was feeling off and unhappy with myself of course, but this was different than my normal binging reason of simply wanting to stuff my face. I know what I listed sounds like a lot of calories (like, 3,500) but it was far less than Iíd done in the past. If I was on my own, a run first thing in the morning would have sounded great and then I would have been fine but we had stuff to do and I couldnít get the opportunity. Whole morning, junk food looked good. Billboards and all that. We went to burger king for lunch and I felt that a regular cheat meal was what I needed to finish this and it actually worked to end the madness. Got an actual whopper with sweet potato fries (very, very good I might add) and a small cone.

So, Iím just trying to go forward from here. I was so close to accomplishing my goal of getting back to a weight were Iím within cutting range of a weight Iím comfortable fighting at and then I go and mess up. I actually know what happened on this one tho and itís the kind of problem a normal person could potentially have so I just need to look at this as one major battle lost, after Iíve been highly successful for about a month tho. Just gonna take a week for the bloat, then another week maybe to get the fat loss back down since I donít eat 100% perfect like I did last summer. Disappointed and frustrated with myself for this, but not pissed.

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AM_MORRIS87 6/26/2013 7:56PM

    I swear it's like we always lose it at the same time, lol! Not that I'm happy at all to see you were struggling and had a breakdown, but it does help me to know I'm not totally alone. At the end of the day, you've come SO far, and you should of course be proud of that. I always have to remind myself that every fitness competitor, athlete, etc., has bad days, or even bad weeks. But the important thing is that they get back on track. This isn't a phase or a brief period, this is life. A long journey called life. When I eff up and hate myself and beat myself up, I remind myself that this isn't a contest or a race. There are going to be times where I'm not "perfect" but we both know that we are both so much better off than where we were. A few pounds or bloat or not, you are healthy. You have completely changed your habits and your lifestyle, so there's no way you're going to go back to your old self or let yourself get back to that point. So, in short, I'm sorry to hear about the bad night. I know how hard it is. But I have faith you will definitely get back on track. :)

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MLDRLD 6/24/2013 11:16AM

    O.K., so you blew it! You're right to question what led to your food binges, what you could have done differently, how you might have prepared for the trip differently. The main thing is to learn from this experience, keep looking at what you've been doing right for so long, then move on.

Today's a new day; a new beginning! Sometimes it takes longer to get to our goal that we had planned, but the thing is to pick ourselves back up after a fall, and keep moving forward. You can do it! emoticon

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KANOE10 6/24/2013 11:14AM

    I keep telling myself that progress is what is important, not perfection. We all fall off of the wagon and need to regroup our energies and get back on track. You have been so successful in maintaining. Today is a new day and you will do well. I am sorry that girl was so rude. She is not a friend.

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