Monday, June 24, 2013
Let's be honest. Losing weight and getting healthy is no easy task. Especially when one has not had healthy eating habits for the majority of their life. Heck, that's why we're all here, right? Because we need help and support and because this journey is HARD! I've been overweight to some degree for as long as I can remember. I'm tall, so I "carry my weight well" (whatever THAT means), but still, I've always been self-conscious because of the way I look.
I've been a member of Spark for years on and off. I understand the principles of weight loss. I understand the things that I need to do in order to make myself healthier. For whatever reason, though, I've always failed when I've tried to put those things into practice. Maybe I tried to do too much at once and overwhelmed myself. Maybe I just wasn't ready. Sometimes I was being sabotaged by the very people that SHOULD be the most supportive. Sometimes, (more often than not lately) I'm just so damn poor that I can't afford to have as much healthy food as I would like.
Over the last several weeks, with the support and encouragement of a dear friend who is also on his own journey to becoming healthy, everything has started to click. It's not hard anymore. Every time I eat I have a choice. A choice to fuel my body with something healthy. A choice to NOT eat until I feel like I'm going to explode. A choice to pare down my portion sizes. It's not all or nothing. It's not "oh, I messed up today, I'll start again tomorrow". It's not "I need to start at the beginning of a week". Every time I eat I make a choice.
Sometimes, I make choices that aren't the greatest. For example, I went over on my calories last night because I wanted ice cream in the worst way (it's been 90 degrees here - YUCK!) But I log it and I move on from it and think about the next choice I'll be able to make. I learn from every good choice and every bad choice. Sometimes I find myself struggling just to get to 1200 calories. Sometime I look at my tracker and realize that I just had a bad day. The key - MOVE ON FROM IT. Learn, and move on.
I will never be a supermodel. I will never be stick thin and bony (nor do I want to be). My goal is to be healthy. I want to be strong. I want to have the endurance that I've lacked all my life. I want to get off the stupid high blood pressure medication that I've been on since I was in my mid-20's (and I'm only 33). I want to manage my herniated disc and sciatica issues by losing weight and developing a strong core. I want the satisfaction of just feeling awesome about myself, regardless of what anyone else thinks. I will do that slowly and steadily.
One of the biggest things that I've done is I've tried to stop drinking my calories. I drink water so much more now. I also drink Crystal Light (2 quart package made with a gallon of water to cut the sweetness but give me a little flavor). I don't keep soda in the house at all anymore. It's makes a HUGE difference. And you know what? I don't measure every single thing. I have a basic idea of what a cup of something looks like or what 3oz of something feels like. For me, it's working. Now, if I can just add the exercise back in. Stupid stupid back.... (I'm getting there though. Walking more now and getting some core strengthening going).
So, if anyone reading this is struggling, just remember that you get a new chance every time you need to eat or drink. You don't have to wait until tomorrow, or next week. Just until the next choice.
We're all in this together, and I know that we can all do it!