Monday, June 24, 2013
The character "Muminmamman" by finnish author Tove Jansson say in one of the stories: "It is not hard to be brave if you are not afraid" - that has made me understand that all the people who climb Mount Everst is not necessarily brave than the average person, they are not afraid... I have gotten admiring comments because I am a good public speaker "– Wow, how brave to face a thousand people!" - it is not brave because I am not afraid of it.
The same with eatinghealthily - I read a lot of rather moralising opinions that you have to work, you have to decide you have to stay strong... and it is obvious that it is not hard to eat less if you don´t have the cravings... but somehow that is often lost. I have friends that never struggle with their weight - they are normal weighted and stay that way because they are not that interested in eating.
These thoughts comes from me getting relief from cravings for a couple of days - correction, the cravings returned after just 24 hours but at the same time I feel so full that I truly don´t want to eat. If this could last I would lose weight without any big effort.
I don´t know why it occured, maybe it is the dieuretica medication (one rare side effect that is mentioned is "Anorexia", I am very far from that but it might explain that I feel sort of disgusted with food.
That said I woke up tonight from hunger. I had a nightmare where my daughter was a small child again and her father was blocking me from her - probably came from an SMS from her yesterday that told me that she was on Åland - an island between Sweden and Finland - and couldn´t read my Sms, it made me uneasy.
When I hae starved in the past it has never affected my sleep. I am not starving now, I had three reasonable meals yesterday and felt full when I went to bed, slept for an hour or two and then woke up and could not get back to sleep.
This week is working week but I will probably fly under the radar and do is little as possible...