There are many variables that have to be dealt with to remake your life into one that is healthier physically, emotionally, and nutritionally. To deny the existence of these variables will delay your growth.
One such variable is call obsessive compulsive disorder. There I am. I used to have thoughts that would, in effect, take possession of me. Sure, in your opinion, I should be able to control all of my thoughts—because you can. I can control most of my thoughts; however, many of my thoughts are like a run-away train, nothing is going to stop them except meditation. Medicines help, but they are not always long term. I would like to share a thought that I had and sometimes have: A person is crossing the street at a stop light and they are directly in front of me. I, then, pictured what would happen if I was to run them over. This thought, basically, is what got me diagnosed as having Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I know many people who have had the same disturbing thought or one very similar.
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD): What is it? According to WebMD, OCD is “a type of anxiety disorder, [it] is a potentially disabling illness that traps people in endless cycles of repetitive thoughts and behaviors. People with OCD are plagued by recurring and distressing thoughts, fears, or images (obsessions) they cannot control. The anxiety (nervousness) produced by these thoughts leads to an urgent need to perform certain rituals or routines (compulsions). The compulsive rituals are performed in an attempt to prevent the obsessive thoughts or to make them go away…The symptoms of OCD, which are the obsessions and compulsions, may vary.
Common obsessions include:
• Fear of dirt or contamination by germs.
• Fear of causing harm to another.
• Fear of making a mistake.
• Fear of being embarrassed or behaving in a socially unacceptable manner.
• Fear of thinking evil or sinful thoughts.
• Need for order, symmetry, or exactness.
• Excessive doubt and the need for constant reassurance.
Common compulsions include:
• Repeatedly bathing, showering, or washing hands.
• Refusing to shake hands or touch doorknobs.
• Repeatedly checking things, such as locks or stoves.
• Constant counting, mentally or aloud, while performing routine tasks.
• Constantly arranging things in a certain way.
• Eating foods in a specific order.
• Being stuck on words, images or thoughts, usually disturbing, that won't go away and can interfere with sleep.
• Repeating specific words, phrases, or prayers.
• Needing to perform tasks a certain number of times.
• Collecting or hoarding items with no apparent value.” (http://www.webmd.com/anxiety-
ulsive-disorder, para. 1).
Does this mean everyone that displays some of the above have OCD? No. Going back to check to see if a door is locked is a good idea unless you are want to invite unwanted visitors into your home. Checking to make sure you have turned the iron off is a good idea unless you are intentionally trying to burn the place down.
There is one compulsion that is mostly missed: shopping. I really wish this did not describe me to a “T.” According to Owen Kelly, PhD. (2010) “…The characteristics of compulsive shopping disorder include:
• Preoccupation with shopping for unneeded items.
• Spending a great deal of time doing research on coveted items and/or shopping for unneeded items.
• Difficulty resisting the purchase of unneeded items.
• Financial difficulties because of uncontrolled shopping.
• Problems at work, school or home because of uncontrolled shopping”
rder.htm, para. 2
I can’t afford to be this way. I have asked family and friends to help me get past this obsession when they notice I am displaying it. First, I purchase things because it makes me feel better or good. Then, I can’t wait for the item to arrive. If they do not have a tracking system on the internet I will not buy from them. Since joining SparkPeople, I have lost a little weight. Recently, I ordered my old size which was too large. Instead of returning the item, I hoarded it with no intent of passing it on or returning it.
PLEASE DO NOT FEEL SYMPATHY FOR ME BECAUSE I AM DIAGNOSED AND GETTING TREATMENT TO CONTROL MY SYMPTOMS AND COMPULSIONS. PITY THOSE WHO ARE FIGHTING THE ILLNESS WITHOUT BEING DIAGNOSED WHICH MEANS THEY ARE FIGHTING OCD ALONE.
Share your thoughts with the rest of us at Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder