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day 53 - a vent on dad's care facility

Sunday, June 23, 2013

Today I tracked my stuff for the day (nutriton, water,ect) - my plan is to exercise a bit this afternoon, if only my fav 20 min video with coach Nicole.

I am off to see dad, as he had a bad night last night - I tend to have Sunday home, but I am concerned. I only have ONE complaint, dad is able to walk, but they keep him in a wheelchair, they do not have a small oxygen tank for him to carry so he can be independent. It is my only complaint - as his muscles are atrophying, and this does NOT please me! They will not allow me to bring his smaller tank in to take him for a walk, yesterday I pushed him in his wheelchair for a ten minute walk just to get him out of his room.

Most days with taking care of stuff for him and visiting I am gone 2-4 hours. NO matter what I visit with him for an hour; I may need to do stuff for him, but I will NOT compromise on my visit time.

When I encouraged dad to stay in the care facility I envisioned two things: dad would have people to talk to... he thrives in the care facility when he was there for rehab, he has NO roommate, and has been in his new room for almost a week. Therefore - this is just a repeat of home. Stuck in his room with no contact with people. and TWO - his independence is being denied.

He is getting excellent care! I am just frustrated! To give a clear picture: when dad was home, the only time he came out of his room was to eat and use the bathroom. My mom had issues with the TV being on and other things that would invade her space... I have great empathy for my mom, but my dad needed to be able to sit in a living room - at any rate - I had good expectations of him having more independence. Instead he went from one room with no interactions to another. for this I can take him home and let hospice and other resources come in to take care of him.

thanks for reading my vent -

God is good! I have to trust Him!

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  • RURAL3
    I understand your frustration. My step-mom of 40 years is also in a long term care facility. She walked when she got there 2 years ago. Then THEY broke her leg. Long story. After rehab she is now in a wheelchair and only gets out to transfer. I think it is too much for them to try to get her up to walk(in their minds) And she doesn't know the difference anymore so they think why do it? It is very sad. I am 3 hours (round trip) away so I go once a week. She is now 96. I just want to go in my sleep.
    1731 days ago
    Sorry to say, it is not so much the smaller tank, it is the fact that if your dad is in a wheelchair, he is at less risk to fall. Staff is often limited and in order to assure patient safety, the take the easy way. Long term facilities are different from rehab facilities, even if they are the same building.
    1733 days ago
    I feel your pain Jean. Some facilities just don't give people the care they should. My Mom is still in the hospital 2 months now and they nurses and PSWs don't let the patients just lay in bed. They get them up, have therapy sessions as a group and Mom is improving slowly. I will keep your father in prayer that with God's help things will turn around for him and he will associate with others and get a portable oxygen unit. emoticon emoticon
    1734 days ago
    I so feel your pain. We went through something similar with my mom. she was in excellent healthy and was a walker. She had alzheimers and tended to wander off so why we had to get her in an alz unit. They would not keep her walking and so she began to atrophy. When we moved her to a home near me, she had almost forgotten how to walk and had no interaction until we would go for visits. Sad how this happens more often than not. Praying for you and your situation!!!
    1735 days ago
  • ACRAIG921
    I'm sorry to hear about your frustrations about your dad's situation. I can't believe that they will not allow his smaller tank to keep him more independent.

    My grandma is in a nursing home and she spends most of her day in a wheelchair except to get up to the bathroom. Before she went in there, she walked with a walker. So I totally understand about the atrophy.

    I know what you mean about the social aspect. My grandma lived by herself for 13 years after my grandpa passed (although it was across from my parents). She would sit in her living room most of the day except to eat, didn't really have a lot of visitors and would watch TV at night. She is doing well in the nursing home and at least goes down to the dining room for meals to be with other people.

    I hope that things can change for your dad's care so he can be more independent. We only want what is best for our families and I hope you are able to acheive that.

    Have a great day :)
    1735 days ago
    Eat protein with every meal to curb hunger!
    1735 days ago
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