242 And Discouraged
Sunday, June 23, 2013
Weighed myself, saw that number: 242. Not a huge surprise actually, because I have been gaining and getting closer and closer. My highest weight ever was 248 and I promised myself that I would never go back to this place. Yet here I am, standing right at the edge.
I feel ugly. I feel unhealthy. I feel fat. I feel worthless.
How could I let this happen? With everything else that I have going on, I do not need to be worrying about my fat making everything worse. Yet here I am, stuffing my face with junk food and watching the pounds pile on. Now I am on a med that might make it exceptionally hard to lose weight. Why did I wait? Why did I do this to myself? I hate this. I hate this so much.
I feel so discouraged.