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    GIRLUNDEFEATED   17,889
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242 And Discouraged


Sunday, June 23, 2013

Weighed myself, saw that number: 242. Not a huge surprise actually, because I have been gaining and getting closer and closer. My highest weight ever was 248 and I promised myself that I would never go back to this place. Yet here I am, standing right at the edge.

I feel ugly. I feel unhealthy. I feel fat. I feel worthless.

How could I let this happen? With everything else that I have going on, I do not need to be worrying about my fat making everything worse. Yet here I am, stuffing my face with junk food and watching the pounds pile on. Now I am on a med that might make it exceptionally hard to lose weight. Why did I wait? Why did I do this to myself? I hate this. I hate this so much.

I feel so discouraged.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MAGGIEX3UK 6/23/2013 9:30PM

    Ah...Ruth. I'm so sorry...don't feel bad. Same happened to me and i found myself back here. Don't feel discouraged. Now you've opened up to the issue, take the first step to getting right. I'm here for you...trust me. I feel the same way.

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CHALLENGER15 6/23/2013 11:16AM

    When I get down like this, I begin to go back to the things that I did in the very beginning, which was making sure that I got enough water, and making sure that I walked 15 minutes per day. Once I have myself managing that again, then I can go on to other things.


emoticon

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MARINEMAMA 6/23/2013 7:28AM

    You can do this. We all get down and discouraged. Maybe you could go and read some motivational spark pages and blogs. Stay positive and know that yes you are worth it. emoticon

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MYKIDSRSWEET 6/23/2013 7:14AM

    You can change. You can do this. Love yourself, we all screw up. I have done sparkpeople three or four times, and once was so long ago I forgot my login and had to start over again, but...here I am, yet again. Believe in yourself.

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FUTURE95 6/23/2013 4:18AM

  I was very impressed by your spark page. My suggestion is to read what you have written every day and be your own inspiration. Others can help but we all know that in the end, it's up to us. You have it within you.

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ADVENTURESEEKER 6/23/2013 4:04AM

    You're reaching out. This can be your starting fresh point. What were the first things you did when you started to lose weight and get healthy? Was it tracking? Was it cutting out desserts? Was it drinking more water? Pick one thing, and then in a day pick another thing to add, and then in a couple days pick another thing to add. Soon enough, you are back on track and feeling soooooo much better! You can do it.

Cuz the flip side of not putting the breaks on the destructive behaviour...

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